Sonic the Hedgehog

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Did you mean Sonic Disruptor?
Or maybe sonic hedgehog the gene? And before you ask, yes, that is actually a thing. Look it up if you don't believe me.

“Yo man, like wow. My hand is like moving and everything. ”

~ Sonic on some kind of drug


Sonic the Hedgehog is the fastest hedgehog alive. Once the main character in the greatest game ever, he has now become nothing more than a cross-platform whore. In 1999 it came to light that Sonic was in a relationship with a Furry who somehow managed to transcend graphic barriers. When not out smashing eggs he is found at the gym. He has gained a lot of weight in recent years and is now so fast, he is faster than a slug.

Sonic weighs 345,485 pounds, allowing him to jump on robots and crush on contact. His eyes are actually one huge eyeball with two pupils.

See also[edit | edit source]

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