Sonic the Hedgehog

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Did you mean Sonic Disruptor?
Or maybe sonic hedgehog the gene? And before you ask, yes, that is actually a thing. Look it up if you don't believe me.

“Yo man, like wow. My hand is like moving and everything. ”

~ Sonic on some kind of drug


Sonic the Hedgehog is the fastest hedgehog alive. Once the main character in the greatest game ever, he has now become nothing more than a cross-platform whore. In 1999 it came to light that Sonic was in a relationship with a Furry who somehow managed to transcend graphic barriers. When not out smashing eggs he is found at the gym. He has gained a lot of weight in recent years and is now so fast, he is faster than a slug.

Sonic weighs 1,000,0000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pounds, allowing him to jump on robots and crush on contact. His eyes are actually one huge eyeball with two pupils.

Sonic is also immune to hot anime girl powers, which explains why he always rejects amy.

See also[edit | edit source]

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