The contents of your sofa

What? Where did that cat come from? We don't have a cat.

This is all stuff you find under your sofa. I found it anyway.

• A five pence piece. Wahey, you can now retire.
• A metric tonne of dog fur - the all purpose nourishment for drunken stupors.
• Some chewing gum.
• Spilled Coke.
• A small civilisation of mini-humans created when you spilled the Coke on the chewing gum.
• A cup of tea - mm I say.
• That watch your spouse thought you had lost and made an unecessarily big deal out of.
• The kitchen sink - wha?
• Monsters. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue. Or a Pokemon.
• Half eaten Mars bar - more nourishment, maybe too much, you may have to work out after this to shed those pounds.
• Garden shed - so that's what has given me a bad back on those nights on the couch.
• Jimmy Tarbuck - damn I had so hoped he had gone for ever.
• Old choccy wrappers.
• Those plastic things on shoelaces.
• Osama Bin Laden

Wow, cool eh?