Top Ten Examples of Radiation in Noodles

From Illogicopedia's Top Ten collection. Where opinion is fact.

No, because one would vicariously enjoy being beaten to a pulp at the hands of a sadistic noodle that has become severely irradiated beyond normal human comprehension, and it was not a nuke that dropped on India thousands of years ago! Nature has its many ways of discombobulating the pathetic human mind, and meanwhile, we're still stuck trying to figure out our own species! So what if we have a tendency to prefer hugging a shark over hugging our in-laws!? What matters more is that your noodles have been tossed into the incinerator!!! Moreover, it's not even an incinerator! It is indeed a mailbox to the Upside Down addressed towards an even stranger young girl with very short hair and a strong desire for frozen waffles!!! An unprecedented tragedy has unfolded before our eyes! Run! The noodles approach their boiling point and persist in their Reptilian transformation of irradiation! Perhaps they'll even develop an insatiable desire for waffles as well! Telepathyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

1. Millennials not knowing what "millennialism" is
2. Poorly maintained leg hair
3. Any song by a Scottish duo of analog-bashing electricians
4. WEIRD FISHES!!!
5. Finding the Fibonacci sequence within a rancid and frog-infested chunk of moose meat
6. Vomiting at the thought of joining an improvisational djent band from Portugal
7. Y2K being the equivalent of a pineapple-themed Hannukah
8. Going the distance to meet your estranged goat immolator
9. Spontaneous bleeding when in the presence of a manhole
10. Listening to Gorillaz

Mutant pastasaurus, recently escaped from a box of irradiated noodles