Ugh The Unshaven

“stick has glowy thing on it! Ugh smash glowy thing! OWIE! glowy thing hurt! Ugh smash it again! OWIE!”

~ Ugh The Unshaven (upon discovering fire)

“Ugh make rock go round and round! Ugh forget why but Ugh do it anyway!”

~ Ugh The Unshaven (upon creating the wheel)

Ugh The Unshaven was a famous caveman scientist who was responsible for the discovery of fire and the creation of the wheel, both of which helped to change human history - Ugh The Unshaven never had any children and thus his legacy died with him when he tried to create the world's first glider using a large rock and some sticks.

The following is the story of Ugh's life as told by Ugh himself:

History

Early Life

Ugh born long ago, back when people were smart - Ugh was born a boy, that means Ugh not a girl.. see? Ugh smart! Ugh smash anyone who say otherwise!

Anyway, Ugh was happy baby boy - Ugh did baby things like sleep and throw rocks at wall: then Ugh grew bigger and enjoyed happy childhood doing child things like sleep and throw rocks at wall.

Sometimes on Ugh's birthday Ugh would do something special like gather sticks to put in big pile and stare at.

Adult Life

Ugh not stay child for long and soon Ugh was kicked out of cave and so Ugh decided to do man things like sleep and throw rocks at wall, Ugh also got his own stick pile to stare at - Ugh had everything caveman could ever want: yet Ugh wanted something more.

Ugh wanted to learn - but Ugh not know what to learn.. which make Ugh angry..

Discovery Of Fire

Ugh not like being angry and so Ugh decide to throw rocks at wall again, only one rock hit stick-pile instead and make sticks glow - Ugh investigate glowy sticks and get big OWIE.. Ugh try to smash glowy stuff and get more OWIE.. Ugh then get idea to make more glowy stuff..

After a while Ugh name glowy stuff "fire" and show all his caveman friends, they hit Ugh with sticks and run away but Ugh knows they like fire - yet Ugh still want to learn more..

Creation Of The Wheel

Ugh still not happy, Ugh made fire but Ugh need more - so Ugh take biggest rock Ugh can find and Ugh carve it until it is round: Ugh then rolls rock around and gets greatest idea ever! Ugh will smash the rock! Ugh get ready to smash rock when Ugh suddenly think of something - Ugh was rolling rock around.. Ugh had created something new..

Ugh truly smart..

So Ugh no smash rock, instead Ugh roll rock around some more and show caveman friends new invention, Ugh call it a wheel - caveman friends laugh at Ugh: Ugh figure they just jealous..

Death

Ugh still not happy, Ugh have made fire and wheel but Ugh still have something else to make.. Ugh have idea..

Ugh see bird in sky fly with wings - Ugh make wings and fly like bird..

Now Ugh not stupid, Ugh know man not have wings but Ugh know that rock can roll to make wheel so rock must also let people fly..

Ugh take rock and make wings, then Ugh fly like bird..

(the story of Ugh ends here, from what evidence we can find Ugh achieved one final discovery in his life: gravity)