Veles

Veles is a quaint town in Macedonia whose main export is American newspapers. But not just any American newspapers: the most well-researched and independently verified American newspapers printed on high quality blue newsreel. You may think it's odd that the best in American journalism is produced in a country 6,000 miles away from the United States, but globalism. Get used to it.

This is a great service to America. Where else would you see headlines like "Halsey Nags a Ram" and first sentences like "Halsey, one-word stage name unusual, should be called Ashley Nicolette Frangipane, has been confirmed of nagging a ram." if not for Veles newspapers?

The people of Veles have to eat something, so they probably make cheese or yoghurt, which means they have goats. It is unclear whether they culture their own microbes or raid them from neighboring villages. Local authorities deny that the cheese is used for purposes that seem pizza-related.

The famous dance of Veles is a Horo in 16/37 time.