Where is Thumbkin?

"Thumbkin! Where are you?" I yelled throughout my rural home in Yoorgieville. Thumbkin, my dear friend, was missing! I had last saw him eating a raw fish out of the near by stream, but he's not there, or at the super-market. But I was determined to find Thumbkin, just as the author was determined to finish this before he had to leave for the school bus. So, I set off to find my frilly-feathered-friend, and I rode away on my pet camel into the sunset. For many days, and many nights, we followed the invisible trail of Thumbkin. We travelled half way across the world. "Thumbkin!" I said in Pennsylvania. "Thumbkin!" I said in Japan. "Thumbkin!" I said in France. "This is getting really annoying. I not going to run around the world, on a camel, with a fake mouchstache on, screaming "THUMBKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". "What?" I turned to see Thumbkin, my pet sock, on my foot. "Thumbkin!" I yelled. "George!" Thumbkin yelled. We ran towards eachother, like in those romantic scenes, even though Thumbkin was on my foot. Well, I accidently stabbed Thumbkin in the eye, which kind of, erm, killed him. Oh dear. Erm. Oh oh god. There's blood all over. Oh, this is bad. Double no! He's glued to my foot. How can I go around with a dead body dragging behind me? So I shoots myself. Now, me and Thumbkin are living happily, In the great sock drawer in the sky..........Well, not really. Actually, I tried cutting my own foot off. I mean, it was the logical answer, seeing Thumbkin was attachted to it and all. I didn't go as planned. I acidently stabbed myslef in the eye with a harpoon, the I sawed off what I thought was my foot. It was my hand. "Oh come on!" I yelled. "How the hell am I supposed to saw my foot off now?". The answer was obvious: I would eat my camel companion. But wait. Where was my camel? "HEYY!" I yelled. "You ass!" "Come back! I want to eat youuu!". This isn't working, but-OH GOD! A penguin seemed to be devouring my left leg. "Oh dear! Get off of me!" I screamed at the obviously retarded bird. Didn't it know that PENGUINS DON"T EAT HUMAN LEGS!!!!!!!!. Well, my yelling caused some of his buddies to come over, and I knew I was doomed. "Silence that smelly bastard!" the first penguin said. Two of the others jumped on me and broke my neck, killing me instantly. "Now we can dine on his flesh!!!" said the penguin. And they began to feast upon my body and--"Carmen! Are you watching that horror movie again? You know I said you can't what that!". "Oh crap! I'm getting out of here!" said Carmen as he jumped out of his window, realizing that his room was on the second floor, and was crushed under a truck.