Yoko Ono

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For those who can't handle the real truth, the spinners of fake truth at Wikipedia have a thoroughly boring article on Yoko Ono.

Yoko Ono is a fairy born in Neverland. Even though she is actually a fairy, she looks like a human due to her lack of wings and large size (for a fairy, that is). Her magic fairy power is an odd noise she can make that is a combination of yodeling and screaming.

Early Bananas[edit]

The reason why she lacks wings is because, when she was a year old, a lawnmower mowed across her wings while she was sleeping. Her unusually large size is due to having a pet pomegranate at the age of 2. She wanted to be as big as a human, but her weak fairy magic didn't allow for that. However, the pomegranate granted her wish, and she became as large as a 2-year old human. She still kept her screaming powers though. When she was 4, she was too large to continue living with the fairies. An enchanted dry erase marker moved her to the human world, where she was adopted by a family of raccoons. She lived with the raccoons for the next billion years.

Later Bananas[edit]

Sometime later, she decided to leave the raccoons because she met a guy named John Lennon, and the raccoons wouldn't let her date anyone. She could only speak raccoonese. Fortunately, John Lennon also understood raccoonese, and they lived happily ever after. Unfortunately, she was too much of a llama to enter the Beatles studio, so she broke it and that was the end of the Beatles. Sad.

The End.

Oh, by the way, the bananas think this will be a bestseller.