A word from our sponsors

This article is Illogical enough  to have made it onto the front page.  View more featured articles

It has come to my attention that recently the world's main source of internet is drying up due to over-usa.

In recent years, use of the internet has risen by over one hundred billion thousand percent. The internet has allowed mankind to pass boundaries previously thought impossible, such as swapping funny e-mails and uploading pictures of naked people. However, it was announced today by the department of CyberStuff that Earth's stockpiles of internet are running dangerously low.

“If people continue using the internet on such a massive scale, and in such a wasteful manner, we fear that we could run out of it as soon as 2012.”

~ a member of the Department of CyberStuff on what Dubya said

George U U Bush today issued a statement saying that he is very upset by the loss of his hamster. We're not sure how this is connected to Internet usage, but we're posting it anyway to prove how silly he is.

Regulations

It is expected that the Government will soon put into force new rules and regulations over the use of the internet, such as:

1. Banning porn sites: This would reduce current internet usage by 95%.
2. Banning Illogicopedia: This would lower internet usage by a further 3%.
3. Buying Dubya a new hamster – so he'll stop crying.

It is hoped that by introducing these measures the internet will have a chance to re-stock and recover.

And now it's time for a break ...

This is the worlds greatest news reportist, signing out -- The Brappinest Gangsta hardnut in-yer-fez crackalack chazawak slap and smack boom shack attack brap! 22:32, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

Speaking on behalf of the ?crats, I think this is inane and not very true. There is no internet shortage! Asema 21:22, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

Tosh, my internet ran off with the milkman just the other day. How can it not be troooooooo!--A crusader for Barney the Dinosaur's exclusive guitar solo 20:06, 25 April 2007 (UTC)