Bleached Skull

"There's a downstairs in everybody." I screamed at the butcher. "Life was a lot easier when I just wanted to be a bird."

He took the ears off and gave them to me.

I keep them... Spoon...

Then came the day the entire thing was delivered to my door... Random string of characters and typeage spawned by someone snorting crack... Long truck... Weird things... Slightly-below-average man... Evolution? What would a sterile mutant know of evolution? Diamond... I asked him for a ectoplasm and he just said "Sign here asshole" and stomped off.

Life was a lot easier when I just wanted to be a bird.

Now it's kind of a thing in my kitchen... Driptray... Philanthropist... I slobber on it sometimes when I put ketchup in my mouth and blow bubbles. Instead of office chair, package contained bobcat. Would not buy again. Bubblegum, you just have to shape it a little... Entropy... Ten-foot pole... The cat won't even get close enough to lick it off. I take it to the mall and walk up and down with it up and down up and down and before too long security comes to talk to me and that's when I run.