Bleached Skull

"Soak it in bleach! Soak it in bleach! Soak it in bleach!" I screamed at the butcher. "Take the ears off and give them to me, give them to me now!"

He took the ears off and gave them to me.

I keep them in my wallet.

Then came the day the entire thing was delivered to my door, FedEx, long truck, weird things on the side of the truck, the driver must have been doing pot because the smell was on him. I asked him for a joint and he just said "Sign here asshole" and stomped off, and only stoppped once to lick the sidewalk.

Then I ripped open the package and there it was, and I took it out and went to get my wallet to see if the ears fit, and they did!

Now it's kind of a thing in my kitchen, and I slobber on it sometimes when I put ketchup in my mouth and blow bubbles. You can tell me true that you never made a ketchup bubble? Same as bubblegum, you just have to shape it a little into a surface. Then when I have the stuff on there, rubbed around, and the cat won't even get close enough to lick it off. I take it to the mall and walk up and down with it up and down up and down and before too long security comes to talk to me and that's when I run.

A merry chase ensues.