Ariss
The rabbit pokes its head out of the sheltering juniper. The cat had fallen asleep.
It was a tuesday. It's always a tuesday when these things happen, not because tuesdays are special or anything, but simply because that is what tuesdays are for. A man approached the dreamer, as men are sometimes wont to do, but this one said only, "You smell."
"Of course I smell," the dreamer replied. "Doesn't everyone? That is what we have noses for, after all. Silly."
Taken aback, the man frowned. "No, I mean you smell."
The dreamer smiled. None of it mattered anyway. For all she knew, none of it was even real, but if the man would go to the bother of approaching her about this, chances were he was onto something, real or otherwise. So be it; still didn't matter. Instead of replying, she kicked the dirt and looked up, up to the sky, the clouds, the stars, the sun and moons, and cast her arm skyward, as if tossing something invisible to catch the firmament.
"Brilliant."
Bleached diet coke
"Soak it in bleach! Soak it in bleach! Soak it in bleach!" I screamed at the butcher. "Take the ears off and give them to me, give them to me now!"
- He took the ears off and gave them to me.
- I keep them in my wallet.
- He took the ears off and gave them to me.
Then came the day the entire thing was delivered to my door, FedEx, long truck, weird things on the side of the truck, the driver must have been doing pot because the smell was on him. I asked him for a joint and he just said "Sign here asshole" and stomped off, and only stoppped once to lick the sidewalk.
- Then I ripped open the package and there it was, and I took it out and went to get my wallet to see if the ears fit, and they did!
Now it's kind of a thing in my kitchen, and I slobber on it sometimes when I put ketchup in my mouth and blow bubbles. You can tell me true that you never made a ketchup bubble? Same as bubblegum, you just have to shape it a little into a surface. Then when I have the stuff on there, rubbed around, and the cat won't even get close enough to lick it off. I take it to the mall and walk up and down with it up and down up and down and before too long security comes to talk to me and that's when I run.
- A merry chase ensues.
Clock...
I sure like TV. And wearing pants. Ford Pinto... Sesame seed oil... $11.99 Vaguely heavy... Not so vaguely sloshy... Dead flounder... You'd have made a lousy waiter. Faded and peeling a bit at the edges... Glucose... Dreams happen the same way that memories form. Perhaps this is why they are so difficult to recall. Only now has it opened to the outside world once more. That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window. Let's do it, and never look back.
Guacamole... But now there is a rake on it, fluttered in with the open door... Neck... Ford Pinto... "You're no help," he told the lime. This was unfair. It was only a lime; there was nothing special about it at all. It was doing the best it could. Giant humming bee that can be a real dick and hums when you're having a conversation with someone... The moth does not seem particularly happy... Perhaps the Sin Dog itself... Dongle... Feces... Indeterminate can... House... The tuxedo... Pie... Able-bodied spiderman gimp train... Do you remember the sirens? Teabag... I'm always afraid he's laughing at me. Behind his face. So yes. Open it. Horse... Salad fork... That's the trouble with metaphor, it ends up in confusion. VCR... Open it! I refuse to let Uncyclopedia go idle!
Band... The contraband... sarcophagus is dislodged in the process. Ostriches have scary teeth.
Chamma. Brickbat...
- You have now appreciated 16% of the text.