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Did you mean B...bears?

What a thief.

Bears are chinese takeaway. Let's face it. They do nothing on this planet but take up noodles, use up our air, and eat fish. They serve no purpose at all, and should be exterminated immediately.

But bears are cute and did nothing to hurt us!

—Some loser

Oh yeah? Try checking on my aunt Susie, she's missing a head, two arms, and a leg thanks to your so called "fwendly" bears.[1] Bears are the source of all evil on this planet, and the sooner you realize this, the sooner I'll let you live.

Not only are they evil, but bears are boring losers who sit around all day. Ever seen those documentaries on them? They just sit around all day, eat, and sleep. How lame can you get? Plus, they spend half the year getting fat so they can spend the other half sleeping. Ridiculous.

Modified Bears[edit | edit source]

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Look at them, blinking in unison. They want to sadistically murder you. Why? Because they have contracted the Radiohead birth defect, meaning these bears are from Mongolia. Run for your life, kid.

References[edit | edit source]

  1. She went to the zoo to see the bears, and when she came back she got in a car accident where she turned into this mess. Yech.

See Also[edit | edit source]