“Hi, I'm Barry Scott (Makes mouth movements)”
Invented by Johann Gambolputty von Ausfern-Splenden-Schlittel-Crasscrenbon-Fried-Digger-Dingle-Dangle- Dongle-Dungle-Burstein-von-Ticolensic-Grander-Knotty-Spelltinkle-Grandlich-Grumblemayer- Spelterwasser-Kurstlich-This-Is-Beggining-To-Drag-On-Himbleeisen-Nörnburger-Bratwurstle-Gersputen-Mitz VII, Cillit Bang was originally made to be a water substitute for sodiers fighting in France. However, after discovering that it really dissolved the soldiers insides into a goopy mess, Johan realized it was best used a cleaning fluid. He named it "Cillit Bang" because it killed his soldiers with a bang.
- 63% Ownage
- 14% Beef Jerky
- 15% Enriched Uranium-235
- 13% Lightbulb shards
- 3% Spandex
- 1% Carebear fur
- 9001% Vegeta-bles
Cillit Bang was orignally developed when Johann dumped a canister of arsenic into his cookie mix. Not wanting to make another batch, he preceeded to make the cookies, which eventually turned into Cillit Bang.
“Removes bloodstains perfectly!”
“Removes your annoying roommate who keeps asking you for $20!”
“It made my mum go away.”
- Some assembly required.
- After completely revising, changing, and rethinking the recipe with new ingredients, amounts, and complete lack of cookie mix whatsoever.
- Paid actors