Cillit Bang
“Hi, I'm Barry Scott (Makes mouth movements)”
BANG! and the dirt is gone. Cillit Bang is a cleaning fluid that removes anything[1]... even yamama yoghourt and tartar sauce.
History[edit | edit source]
Invented by Johann Gambolputty von Ausfern-Splenden-Schlittel-Crasscrenbon-Fried-Digger-Dingle-Dangle- Dongle-Dungle-Burstein-von-Ticolensic-Grander-Knotty-Spelltinkle-Grandlich-Grumblemayer- Spelterwasser-Kurstlich-This-Is-Beggining-To-Drag-On-Himbleeisen-Nörnburger-Bratwurstle-Gersputen-Mitz VII, Cillit Bang was originally made to be a water substitute for sodiers fighting in France. However, after discovering that it really dissolved the soldiers insides into a goopy mess, Johan realized it was best used a cleaning fluid. He named it "Cillit Bang" because it killed his soldiers with a bang.
Chemical components[edit | edit source]
- 63% Ownage
- 14% Beef Jerky
- 15% Enriched Uranium-235
- 13% Lightbulb shards
- 3% Spandex
- 1% Carebear fur
- 9001% Vegeta-bles
Cillit Bang was orignally developed when Johann dumped a canister of arsenic into his cookie mix. Not wanting to make another batch, he preceeded to make the cookies, which eventually[2] turned into Cillit Bang.
Customer[3] Testimonials[edit | edit source]
“Removes bloodstains perfectly!”
“Removes your annoying roommate who keeps asking you for $20!”
“I know it was used in the Eighth World War by Suiseiseki against the Dirigibles and Super Japan”
“It made my mum go away.”