Deadpool
It has been said of many an intelligent person that they are a "walking encyclopedia." It probably hasn't, but ought to be said of an idiot who knows lots of trivia but changes his opinion every five seconds that they are a "walking Wikipedia." But only Deadpool is a walking Illogicopedia in the form of a badass mercenary comic book character. By the way, he knows you are reading this article and can't believe what a total geek you are to even be on this web site at all.
“Wait, wait, wait a minute. What the hell? Why isn't my Illogicopedia article more badass than that? Come on, Nerd42, you can do better than that!”
Who is Deadpool? Educate yourself[edit | edit source]
This information could change your life.
Like TIME CUBE, we pretty much don't need to create any sort of clever angle or spin for Deadpool's article. He's pretty much Illogicopedia material already, as-is with zero changes.
No srsly, who is Deadpool[edit | edit source]
Deadpool is the bastard love child of Ryan Reynolds and Nolan North. If you think this doesn't make sense because those were both guy's names, then that means I have probably succeeded in getting the idea across. Rumor has it, they might actually turn out to in fact be the same person. That's Deadpool!
Alternate universe versions[edit | edit source]
Alphapool[edit | edit source]
Deadpool, only with Wolverine claws. Thinks he's the alpha male wolf, hence the name. Dumb idea, really.
Babypool[edit | edit source]
Babypool is not so much a character, as an actual kiddie pool that the Deadpool Corps like to sit in.
Brainpool[edit | edit source]
Brainpool is an alternate version of Deadpool who is actually smart and makes intelligent literary references instead of immature pop culture ones whenever he's not contemplating the mystery of his having been called into existence by my having typed this sentence.
Catpool[edit | edit source]
A cat with a healing factor that meows alot. Had a little too much catnip and went crazy. Scratches people's faces off in exchange for .... whatever cats like, I dunno, tuna fish or something. I'm not a cat person.
DCpool[edit | edit source]
A version of Deadpool that lives in the DC Universe instead of the Marvel Universe. You probably know him as ...Deathstroke? Maybe?
Not Deadpool[edit | edit source]
Not Deadpool is a monstrous creature created by FOX to appear in the X-Men Origins: Wolverine film. His proper name is "Not Deadpool" because he is mute, which makes him the polar opposite of the Merc with a Mouth. Rumor has it, if Deadpool and Not Deadpool were to meet, the Marvel Universe would explode!
Robopool[edit | edit source]
A robotic version of Deadpool from "Earth Six Hundred and Somethin" which makes wisecracks in a monotone voice with Autotune and follows an inverted version of Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics:
- Robopool must always harm human beings unless, through inaction, a human being comes to more harm.
- Robopool must accept any mercenary job offered by a human unless accepting such an offer conflicts with the first law.
- Robopool must have an awesome self-repairing ability which prevents him from dying, if robots could die, which they probably can't, LOL.
You know, I originally meant this crap as some sort of joke, but what the hell, this is exactly the sort of thing that a Deadpool comic might actually do! They should totally make this character join the Deadpool Corps.
“Hell yeah! Evil Robot Usses!”
Venompool[edit | edit source]
In Earth-90211, after being hired by Galactus to kill the guy that merged M.O.D.O.K. with Galactus's butt, Deadpool found himself in a nightclub that the guy was supposed to be. Upon encountering the guy, Deadpool saw how much of a party animal he was and how he led a hedonistic lifestyle.
Being the typical dumbass he is, Deadpool forgot about his mission and started partying hard with the guy, acquiring Jheri curls in the process.
Suddenly, while Deadpool is hanging out with the guy in his limousine, Spider-Man suddenly comes a-swingin' in and rabidly demands that the guy takes off the symbiote suit. The driver then shoots the hell out of Spider-Man (for some weird reason, Spider-Senses don't work in the interiors of limousines). The symbiote then jumps on Deadpool before he could react, and then a Venompool is born.