Easter Heads

Easter Heads is a traditional game played on Easter. It involves two usually drunk people hitting their heads against each other. The one whose skull breaks first loses. The game doesn't stop until then.

History

This game is as old as time itself. It was created when Futfrt and Gouafgh, the first two cavemen celebrated their first Easter. And because they didn't know what Easter even is, they bashed their heads with a rock. They survived because they weren't weaklings like the current generations. Kids these days.

During the rock shortage of -39291910 B.C., the descendants of Futfrt had to keep this family tradition of bashing their heads with a rock alive (Gouafgh's family abandoned this tradition due to unknown reasons), so they had to opt for bashing their heads against each other.

Years later, Christians have found cave art in their catacombs that symbolized the act of Futfrt's family's tradition. Then, when they made up Easter, they adopted this old tradition as well. These Christians smh. They steal everything.

On The Last Supper, Jesus had advised to add alcohol to this tradition, specifically wine. From then, a new rule has been added that the participants must be drunk. Atheists do not respect this and they do this sober. They also call it Schmeaster Heads instead of Easter Heads.

Rules

1. If a person challenges you to a game of Easter Heads, you must agree.
2. If you're not drunk, you can't play this game. Sorry atheists, but you make the game boring.
3. No pauses in between. You must be a real man.
4. No women allowed. Women made that rule. Women are so fucking not fun. I support every woman who wants to play Easter Heads. Except Yoko Ono because she makes the games AWFULLY long and she always adds some new rules that go in her favor. Oh, and Marie Curie. Marie Curie is cheating. She melts skulls with her radiation superpowers and then says she won. Not legit.

Fun facts

• Arnold Schwarzenegger is an undisputed Easter Heads champion because he has strong muscles on the top of his skull. He had trained for years in order to defeat his uncle when he brings up questionable political opinions on the family reunion after the 6th beer.
• The longest game of Easter Heads lasted 8 days. It was between John Lennon and Yoko Ono. John won and Yoko almost died. This inspired John's song "Don't Play Easter Heads With Your Partner or Your Partner Might Die from Brain Damage and/or Internal Bleeding Caused by a Capillary Rupture" on his album Double Trouble Fantasy, which reached #36.5 on Billboard's Top 36.5.
• There's an alternate version of this game where the players need to hold their breath while playing.
• This game does exist in a 3 person variant. The 4 person variant has been deemed impossible.