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While many scientific advances are being made, it is still uncertain where the elbow is located, and if it is a part of the universe at all.


Many civilizations have incredible stories for the existence of elbows throughout their body, the most notable one being The Elbow and the Hand, as recorded down by the Native European population of Scandinavia. In it, the elbow, with no specific word for it, is classified as "that which helps your hand move where you want" (rough translation), and because of its role in moving the hand in between one's legs, it is often considered a mystical and important part of the body. Other cultures describe it as "the place where the right hand cannot grab the right arm", but because of the vagueness of the terms "arm" and "hand", it is confusing to discern where exactly they mean. However, scientists are narrowing down the location of the elbow, because of its mysterious connection with the weenus. Finally, popular American culture says that you can't lick your elbow, possibly referring thatthe elbow is somewhere on the back of the body.

The Hunt for the Elbow[edit]

Today, scientists are frantically searching for the location of the elbow. Using the aforementioned tales and common sense, the possible locations of the elbow have been systematically narrowed down over the thousands of years with advanced nuclear-squirrel technology and computers. However, due to a similar yet different unknown body part, the Shoulder, there are still too many places for the elbow to be without being absolutely sure.

Elbow Uses[edit]

As was already mentioned, the elbow provides movement for the hand. However, there are other reasons scientists are being paid huge amounts of money to find an incredulous myth. Suburban moms are, unfortunately, threatening to vote for Donald Trump if elbow pads are not invented by the end of the year, since their children keep getting hurt. In fact, there are huge companies who are paying scientists to not look for the elbow precisely for this reason. However, these companies and these scientists are receiving bomb threats from the FBI to cut it out and just find the f*cking appendage already.

Elbows are also used by suburban moms to explain why "vaccines cause autism but scientists haven't proven it yet". Since it hasn't been found yet, no one can say it isn't affected by vaccines!