Floor food

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Once upon a time, there was a toddler in a high chair. This toddler was a genius, for he invented the concept of Floor Food! He threw his peas and mashed potatoes onto the floor. Later on, while crawling under the table, he came upon one of these peas with a gob of potatoes on it, and called it delicious.

Floor food recipes[edit]

The original

1 blob of gravy (optional)
2 spoonfuls of mashed potatoes
3 spoonfuls of smushed peas
Toss on the ground in random patterns. Stamp on it with barefoot sandy feet. Stir in random, swirly patterns, then consume.

Rainbow surprise

2 spoonfuls of beets
4 spoonfuls of sweet potatoes or yams
1 spoonful of spinach
2 1/2 spoonfuls of carrots
5 blueberries
Drop each spoonful, one at a time, onto the floor. Run through mixture three times with muddy sneakers. Delicious and nutritious!

Military rations

1 plastic army soldier
a handful of bacon bits
1/2 handful of breakfast cereal
2 handfuls of macaroni & cheese
1 lego
Spread macaroni & cheese on floor. Allow to dry to a sticky consistency. Insert plastic soldier and lego. Allow noodles to dry completely. Sprinkle on bacon bits and cereal. Remember to chew the army soldier and lego thoroughly!

Floor pizza

1 handful crumbled cooked sausage
2 handfuls shredded cheese
1 spoonful tomato sauce
1 crushed tomato slice (use sneakers)
1 bread crust
Spoon tomato sauce over bread crust. Place bread crust on floor. Garnish with crushed tomato, shredded cheese, and cooked sausage. Serves one. Recipe is easily doubled or tripled to feed more.

Canine delight

1 doggy biscuit
2 handfuls dry cat food
1 glob peanut butter (creamy)
1 piece of American cheese, torn into 1 cm squares
3 crumbled saltine crackers
Crumble cat food, peanut butter, cheese and crackers together. Spread on doggy biscuit, and serve on wood floor or carpet. Enjoyable for both humans and their canine friends. But you won't want to share it. Who let the dogs out?

Ferret Fabuloso

1 piece shredded chicken
1 glob peanut butter (crunchy)
1 handful mixed shelled nuts
2 spoonfuls raw ground beef
1/2 banana, overripe
Mash ingredients together into a paste. Drop paste in spoonfuls on the floor. You may have to race to beat your ferret to eat this one!