Forum:Analyse an article, the game!

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I just got an idea for a potentially hilarious (or potentially lame) game we could play. What you do is press random page and then write a literary analysis of whatever article you land on. Try to make your literary analysis as absurdly in-depth as possible. It should be fun, in a ridiculous sort of way. --THE 21:14, 22 Farbleum 2009 (UTC)

Advice on love, analysed by Professor THE[edit source]

A masterpeiceful work of literary art, this article appears to be a parody of self-help books. Though it's title is sincere, the article immediately plunges in to biting satire with the quote: "I like your mother!!!" --somebody. Wasnt me! Honestly!!! The reader, who sees the title and thinks the article will be a genuine self-help peice, is taken aback by this quote. The first section of the article is called "The Ultimate Advice On Love." The title of this section once again creates hope in the reader that they may find advice on romance. However, their hopes are abruptly smashed by the following brilliantly satirical statement: "Don't Bother. Unless its your mother." The article is clearly meant to be a parody of capitalist culture's obsession with sex and disregard for the consumer. The repeated allusions to the reader's mother could be a Freudian analysis of sexual urges and how they relate to motherhood. After the above "Unless its your mother" quote, there is a long blank section, which could be a metaphor for the meaninglessness of self-help and advice books in a material society. The final blow in the article's merciless satire is the final sentence, under a section called "OMG!!!": You actually bothered to read this far!? Dork. Clearly yet another satirical statement on the lack of care for consumers in some free market societies. This brilliant parody of self help novels, sexuality, and capitalism will surely be considered a literary classic for years to come. --THE 21:14, 22 Farbleum 2009 (UTC)

Ford, analyzed (the AMERICAN spelling!) by Some What, Greek mythology expert[edit source]

The article's very first sentence "OH MY GAWD!!!" reveals that its intent is not to persuade the reader that the viewpoint expressed is correct. The capital letters, l33t-reminiscent misspelling of God, and the three exclamation points, give an impression of juvenility that would not be desirable if the writer were trying to make himself or herself seem like a reliable source. The statement "Ford cars are evil" is making fun of how paranoid people can be, and the math equation is a representation of how mindlessly people trust anything claiming or appearing to be scientific. Some WHAT!? (talk) (contribs) (edit count) (I will try to be more in-depth in my later analyses.) 22:11, 22 Farbleum 2009 (UTC)

Mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble CARROT STICK! analysed (the BRITISH spelling!) by Dr. Ben[edit source]

A peculiar, yet intriguing article. It starts off with 'Mega Ultra Yodelling', which I've got to say isn't your average beggining. Anyway, blank spaces of nothingness follow with 'Oranges' and 'Under Pans? Under... panic?' wrote inside them spaces. The article develops into an argument between two possibly retarded people with a great range of subjects, under the title Let's sit down and eat apples. There is no mention of apples elsewhere in the article but there is pears and carrot sticks under this title. A tube of ointment shouts at them. There may be a greater meaning to that line, I am not sure. Quickly the subject changes to sandwiches. This is where the beautiful line 'STOP MAKING LOVE TO THAT SANDWICH YOU MADE THIS MORNING' enter. A brilliant piece of literature. Fortunately he is not taking that sandwich to Europe with him. The sandwich also has a moustache. The reason why is not explained as the article mentions 'Bran Flakes'. A big space occurs then 'Tuna casserole' arrives. After this there is gibberish unreadable to man. Maybe the 'PEAR AND BREAD ASSOCIATION' has a reason to do with this. Maybe they are at an airport. The reason why I say this is is that they check for blankets twice (and for seemingly for diet pepsi). After this it changes to 'LEPER oh, see, STICK'. Then it says 'make not lick'. More spaces follow. Then a solo F is put in. The article finally ends with 'CARROT STICK!'.

I can't believe I wrote this about a article Professor THE himself made. Whoa. --Ben Blade

19:53, 23 Farbleum 2009 (UTC)
Thanks! I was secretly hopin' that one of mine would end up analysed. --THE 16:54, 24 Farbleum 2009 (UTC)

Save the best for last analyzed (American spelling, so SUCK IT!) by Sir Fish of Lish[edit source]

The title, as in many of these excellent oeuvres from literary masterminds across the globe, sets the tone of the piece, grabbing, enticing, beating, and shaking the readers into delirium from the start like there's no tomorrow, none more so then in this artfully-crafted irreverent gem by the modern poet (named for his famous Ancient Greek counterpart) "Testostereich". We are soon to discover that the title ("Save the best for last") is in fact a critical part of an ongoing dialogue between title and author, as the author quickly responds "No, I don't think I will." Classic mise en scène, to say the least. The contents box itself emits an air of a sort of quasi-sub-reality, a world contained within itself beneath it's own kind, comfortable existing in a simple, overdignified gray box while clearly subjected to the will of an emboldened "contents" who stands alone on his own terms as the proletarians are swiftly and surely "hidden" by a simple mouse click. Fantastic. I was just as soon captivated by the larger story as by this motif when, in a seemingly sudden change of plans, we return to the story arc we began with. There is a brief foreshadowing of something spectacular, however, unanticipated, coming up for the reader to enjoy before our "literary pallets" are cleansed clean by a "wasabi" of cats in a bag. In the ensuing section, the author gives us a sense of confusion by the sudden implementation of a list, only to learn, yet again, that this is but another literary tool used to further the plot. Bravo, Monsieur Testostereich. As it turns out, the climax comes when the title, clearly aghast by the list, (in sympathy with the reader's concerns), departs in utter frustration, leaving the author free to babble unrestrained, as he is finally, at last, free, free from the oppressive, patriarchal, "parti de rien", title. The epilogue finds the title in good humor as he poses a question that the author himself cannot answer, but the real surprise, the real lesson to be learned from this piece is that freedom, and desire, and all things we cherish, be it cats in a bag or babbling incoherently cannot be trumped by the need to own themselves in a society where flash floods are common and old habits are succeeded by the only thing they can share to do best: freedom and desire and all things they cherish. Surprise? I think not. Genius? On something that floats. --Fishalishalish 04:26, 24 Farbleum 2009 (UTC)

Big[edit source]

This article is big. No, not just big, Big. But not even Big, but BIG. No, BIG doesn't even begin to describe it. This article is BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG. Carrot? Sounds tasty. How about a BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG carrot? Maybe if you are a BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG rabbit or just happen to like carrots. Polystyrene! Sounds tasty, but how about the peanuts? They forgot the peanuts! But that's okay, because the BIG BIG BIGness of the Polystyrene makes up for all that. HINDLEYITE - I knew someone had to behind this BIGness! Its all Hindleyite's fault! Fonchezzz - you mean he's involved too? How many of you have been making BIG schemes behind my back? Testostereich - not you too! Uncyclopedia - ack, how did you all know I lurk there, inserting random nonsense into articles? YUB - Its a conspiracy! A Conspiracy I tell you! But a BIG one! As BIG as it gets! simsilikesims 07:44, 24 Farbleum 2009 (UTC)

Woo - deftly anal'ed by MMF[edit source]

Written in the style of a crazy pretentious rock magazine album reviewer

Beneath this article's obtuse exterior beats a heart so cold it feels warm to the touch; in spite of the highly subversive and at times shocking nature of the author's work, it is actually interlaced with Literary Qi transferring to even the most casual of readers a subconscious energy that could empower or it could enfeeble. It is a tapestry fed into a massive metal piano owned by a man tragically aware of the fragility of liminal space, and the tapestry is of infinite length, with a million elderly ladies weaving their incredibly short stories before dying and being forever replaced. If caught at the wrong time, this article could genuinely destroy the brain, deeply massaging the cells to the point of evaporation through enlightenment; who said nirvana was a constructive state? It's also quite good as a towel rack. ColourfulMetalFlower.jpgMMF!talk←/→admin(:D)

11:27, 24 Farbleum 2009 (UTC)

Oh, no! I'm a green bean! analysed by Janitor THE (I've been demoted)[edit source]

This article may be one of the greatest vegetable-related tragedies ever written, surpassing in scope even Shakespeare's "The steamed Carrot and I." The article is a magnificently dark commentary on despair and hopelessness. The article begins with "this is odd," as the main character suddenly finds himself like a green bean. The main character subsequently observes that he is surrounded by other green beans "Exactly like" himself, which is clearly meant to symbolize the lack of true individualism in today's world. We're all the same, just like green beans. The article only gets darker as it continues, and the main character suddenly remembers that he spontaneously turned in to a green bean and was locked in the fridge. A feeling of powerlessness begins to fill the article: Whoa, this thing is tipping! Aah, I'm falling! The bean is subjected to powers beyond his control, yet "I can only watch as my fate begins to unfold." Because he lacks arms and legs, the green bean can only sit and await his horrible fate. The next terrifying passage is punctuated by repeated outbursts of "OW!" as the green bean is chewed. This is probably a metaphor for our own human emotional experiences. Who hasn't felt powerless and trapped before? This green bean's tale is a brilliant reflection of the feeling of hopelessness when you feel like you're small and insignificant, and the events in your life are beyond your control. Yet a ray of hope shines. The green bean describes his experience as like a rollar coaster. Rollar coasters are fun, if not a bit scary. So perhaps our problems aren't always as bad as we fear they are. This is followed by the mysterious, ambiguous line: "I wonder if I ej... never mind." In the final lines of the tale, the bean is digested, but wakes up and thinks it was all a dream. Only to find that he's inside a jar again! He's trapped in a vicious cycle! The article is surrounded by a vast, white expanse, and a hidden outburst of "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The white expanse and the scream are both symbols for the agony of the bean as he realizes that he is powerless to stop the vicious cycle that he is trapped in. This article is an intriguing commentary on the darker aspects of life in modernized society, symbolized by the tragic and melancholy green bean character. --THE 17:12, 24 Farbleum 2009 (UTC)

Crabs, by Gynacologist Testicles[edit source]

On second thought, a giant floating scrotum would surely be inappropiately perverted as a gynacologist, whether or not the pair has been to med school[edit source]

Crabs, great fun as an article, somewhat less fun if you actually have them. This article had a rather overbearing taste, which strangely complimented it's bombastically loose texture and fruity tang. The body of the article was sumptuous, yet longwinded and left me with mixed feelings - great joy, and indegestion. My finely attuned nose was able to narrow it down to just two different types of article, either it's Chateux 1871, or bleach with Ribena mixed in. --Testostereich(ballsack) 10:07, 28 Farbleum 2009 (UTC)