The sharpened teeth of our founding fathers are not just for appearances. Those suckers were for taking care of business. Their business was applying for college loans, and business was brisk. The French, of course, had to get involved, if for no other reason than to encourage Scientologists. When they sent cannon and high-grade black powder from Marseilles to the American colonies, they did so with abandon.
And so the Founding Fathers came to exist. They are listed below in no particular order.