Fush

Fush are a class of parasitic organisms living in the body of people with heavy stature. There is a wild dispute going on about the preference of fush towards people with blue eyes but this is refuted by the scientific community. They are not harmful towards the infected organism, although some species may represent a risk (see minigrope below) and almost all of them add a certain weight (from 2 to 20kgs.) to the body of the bearer.

Classification

Not many species of Fush were discovered. The most common are the

• pinkstalk: pink with purple spots and big big glowing eyes under the skin on the back of your neck
• rapid: dark green with little leaves covering the body - the first animal to be an endogenous parasite which uses photosynthesis; also, has the fastest infection speed
• minigrope: this is smaller then the pinkstalk and the rapid but can be deadly; it extends beyond the eyes, into the brain, trying to seek out the knowledge of consciousness

Life cycle

Fush propagate by staring, the DNA (and other information) being transmitted by the tails of the organism. This, very specific tail, protrudes the retina. The person who stares back in such eyes will receive the information by retinal means and cells will begin to mutate, forming a kind of cancerous tissue - a cocoon inside the body if you will - which is then broken down to give way to a new fush.

The fact that only blue-eyed people carry fush is false. The fact is that only blue-eyed people can infect other people. Blue represents the most sparse pigmentation of the iris and with the highest rate of success in transmitting data. People without blue eyes are only carriers, their fush leading a passive life.

Diagnostics

Detecting a person hiding a fush (a "fushed" person) can be done by instinctive methods. If you feel that something is not right with a particular person, you can avert his gaze, thereby preventing infection. If you feel that the person is definitively carrying a fush, you could call police and have them deliver the person for an examination at the ophthalmologist's cabinet. That is the most simple and unintrusive way to discover if somebody is fushed or not.

Elimination

Usually a person can live with a fush inside his body until death arrives - but if it is advisable to eliminate the fush from the organism, please note that antiparasitic drugs will cause internal organ rupture and massive internal hemorrhage. This is because the position, connections and appendices of the fush living inside your body.

Many x-ray photographs were studied and the fact is that the fush integrates parts of your human organs and blood vessels into it's internal structures, also constituting a kind of a nervous relay station. The brute exclusion of such a brick in the wall of castle in siege time is almost always fatal to the king of the castle. His scepter falls to the ground with a hollow thungg and it will never be picked up again. Ever.

The safe way to get rid of the fush, although illegal in the majority of countries over the world, is by the use of marijuana cigarettes. The magical chemicals inside this wonderful plant shrink the fush by conferring him a state of bliss by introspection. By a minimum dose of two grams a week, it takes about a month to get rid of the fush, him being absorbed into a layer of transcendent reality. It is advised to continue the treatment for two more months, just to be sure.

This article was too bizarre for Uncyclopedia,   but Illogicopedia loves random stuff.

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