HowTo:Pass High School
So, you want to get out of that hellhole in 4 years with as little damage done as possible. It can be done. But realize that in America alone that 678% of students don't graduate. And most who do end up working half-arsed jobs at McDonald's. So, you want to be one of the few, then come on!
The meat and potatoes of high school. Don't let those pot-smoking idiots tell you otherwise. Now, I'm going to tell you everything you need to know.
- Never study. Studying has led to sleep issues and test failures. It also leads to LSD abuse.
- Never do homework. Your teachers can't grade you for it if you don't do it.
- Eschew extracurricular activities- You're never gonna run track or throw a baseball in real life, are you? And the chess club? Get serious. Although band/choir may do good if you're Elvis.
- Do nothing-That's right. Real-life workers do this. Or they read crap on random variety blogs like Illogicopedia
So. This is where it gets tough. Not technically required to pass, but nonetheless has effect on you wellbeing.
- Don't talk- Stay mute. The other guys will think you're a fish. This should work. In the rare incident that some nerd decides to talk to you, hit him in the head with a pair of pliers.
- Don't date- Trust me. Dating has led to 456,565 deaths and even though you may be tempted by that new freak on the block, don't.
- Do nothing- It's flawless.
- Don't shower.
- Don't do anything
- Eat food
- Skip school and come here
- Screw the establishment
- Adopt libertarianism
- Do nothing.