HowTo:Pass High School

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So, you want to get out of that hellhole in 4 years with as little damage done as possible. It can be done. But realize that in America alone that 678% of students don't graduate. And most who do end up working half-arsed jobs at McDonald's. So, you want to be one of the few, then come on!


The meat and potatoes of high school. Don't let those pot-smoking idiots tell you otherwise. Now, I'm going to tell you everything you need to know.

Insider Tips[edit]

  • Never study. Studying has led to sleep issues and test failures. It also leads to LSD abuse.
  • Never do homework. Your teachers can't grade you for it if you don't do it.
  • Eschew extracurricular activities- You're never gonna run track or throw a baseball in real life, are you? And the chess club? Get serious. Although band/choir may do good if you're Elvis.
  • Do nothing-That's right. Real-life workers do this. Or they read crap on random variety blogs like Illogicopedia

Social Life[edit]

So. This is where it gets tough. Not technically required to pass, but nonetheless has effect on you wellbeing.

  • Don't talk- Stay mute. The other guys will think you're a fish. This should work. In the rare incident that some nerd decides to talk to you, hit him in the head with a pair of pliers.
  • Don't date- Trust me. Dating has led to 456,565 deaths and even though you may be tempted by that new freak on the block, don't.
  • Do nothing- It's flawless.


  • Don't shower.
  • Don't do anything
  • Eat food
  • Skip school and come here
  • Screw the establishment
  • Adopt libertarianism
  • Do nothing.



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