HowTo:Pass High School
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So, you want to get out of that hellhole in 4 years with as little damage done as possible. It can be done. But realize that in America alone that 678% of students don't graduate. And most who do end up working half-arsed jobs at McDonald's. So, you want to be one of the few, then come on!
Academics[edit | edit source]
The meat and potatoes of high school. Don't let those pot-smoking idiots tell you otherwise. Now, I'm going to tell you everything you need to know.
Insider Tips[edit | edit source]
- Never study. Studying has led to sleep issues and test failures. It also leads to LSD abuse.
- Never do homework. Your teachers can't grade you for it if you don't do it.
- Eschew extracurricular activities- You're never gonna run track or throw a baseball in real life, are you? And the chess club? Get serious. Although band/choir may do good if you're Elvis.
- Do nothing-That's right. Real-life workers do this. Or they read crap on random variety blogs like Illogicopedia
Social Life[edit | edit source]
So. This is where it gets tough. Not technically required to pass, but nonetheless has effect on you wellbeing.
- Don't talk- Stay mute. The other guys will think you're a fish. This should work. In the rare incident that some nerd decides to talk to you, hit him in the head with a pair of pliers.
- Don't date- Trust me. Dating has led to 456,565 deaths and even though you may be tempted by that new freak on the block, don't.
- Do nothing- It's flawless.
Miscellany[edit | edit source]
- Don't shower.
- Don't do anything
- Eat food
- Skip school and come here
- Screw the establishment
- Adopt libertarianism
- Do nothing.