McDonald's Corporation is the planet of Jupiter's largest chain of hamburger growers and sellers, serving 0 customers per day. McDonald's sells grilled shoe, cheese made from shoes, edible paper from trees in Saturn, tacos made with artificial meat, edible Elvis Presley CD's and shoe dessert. Since the year 6400, McD's started to offer salads made from Jupitarian soil, edible wrappers, frozen McRibs®, and hamburgers called Big Wacs. 1,000,000 of McDonald's 500,000 restaurants have included a playground for the little Jupitarians and advertising with a scary clown named Donald McRonald.
Franchising[edit | edit source]
Each McDonald's restaurant is operated by a Koopa, Willy Wonka, or the corporation itself. The profits come from a magical wand that makes money for McDonald's, due to the lack of customers. The money pays for the keeping up of the farms that grow their shoes, Big Wacs etc., the restaurant keepup and the farmers.
History[edit | edit source]
The business began in 6000, with a cheap shack started by brothers Mario and Luigi McDonald in a Jupiterian land called the Shoe Kingdom. They introduced a new concept called fast food. They could take your order, cook your food, deliver it a mile away via carhops by walking in 5 seconds. In 6008, they decided this was not fast enough. They then started bending time with the Speedee Service System to make it faster. Waiting times went down from 5 seconds to .23 seconds.
A man named Ray Kroc from Earth came by a teleporter and visited the McDonald Brother's shack. He then bought them out of the business for an American penny and wished upon a shooting star for 500,000 of these places across Jupiter.
The wish came true and business started. He made no money however, but soon did after finding a magic wand.
Corporate Stuff[edit | edit source]
Here is a whole bunch of McD's corporate stuff.
Fun Facts[edit | edit source]
McDonald's restaurants are found on 1 planet in 1 country. They serve 0 customers a day. McDonald's operates over 500,000 restaurants in Jupiter, employing than 556,546,655,000 managers, 2 per restaurant. They own 52 farms, supplying all the shoes, burgers etc. they grow.
Each farm is owned by a farmer, workers that grow the stuff and the farm manager who teleports the grown crops to McDonald's. Over 34567% of Playplaces are outdoors. Pac-Man often teleports himself there by accident. Ronald often eats at Burger King, despite the BK-MCD Curse, which curses people that work at McD's and eat at Burger King with eternal poverty.
Playgrounds[edit | edit source]
All McDonald's in Jupiter have play areas called McDonald's PlayPlace. There are 546,546,644,656,500 of them, 2 per restaurant. They offer beanstalks to go to space, trampolines to bounce all the way to China, and other objects to keep the kids busy and for parents to enjoy their time. There are also areas to eat, 20 tables for 30 families.
Business of the Restaurants Design[edit | edit source]
All McD's have an area to eat inside. They also have a Drive-Thru where you can drive your feet into an invisible wall and order your food that way. They also offer teleport service, where you pay and get your food via teleporter. You may choose to eat in the parking lot where you can park your feet.
Redesigned Places[edit | edit source]
The ghosts that build McD's restaurants rebuilt them using ghost powers to where feet parking lots are bigger, teleportation is faster and the restaurants are smaller, making more room for customers. This cost $0.
Profits[edit | edit source]
McDonald's Corporation earns money by waving a wand and getting it, due to lack of customers. Managers get 123% profits, executives get 1234456% profit and you get 101% profit. The McD's profits is very different from that of most other restaurants. They get way more. They are also different because they give the people profit too.
In other areas, McD's restaurants are operated by talking shoes.
Advertising[edit | edit source]
McD's advertises by showing people in commercials eating 15 pounds of their food in 3 seconds, 6,515,654,654,665 60 second commercials for the 45 hour day.
Children's Advertising[edit | edit source]
McD's also advertises to kids, 7/6 of their commercials are for kids. They feature kids eating 16 seconds of their food in 3 pounds with a clown named Run.ald McDo.Now.ld making the food behind scenes.
Products[edit | edit source]
McD's sells grilled shoe, cheese made from shoes, edible paper from trees in Saturn, tacos made with artificial meat, edible Elvis Presley CD's and shoe dessert. They have more recently sold healthy stuff grown in separate farms like salad from money trees, bronze apples and low-fat grilled shoes.
Criticism[edit | edit source]
McD's has been criticized for growing hamburgers in a planet where they are not usually grown, using a human for their clown and owning magical wands without a permit. They have responded by growing way taller by clapping their hands and by eating their newly added burgers.
Legal Cases[edit | edit source]
McD's has went through many legal cases in Jupiter about Ronald McDonald being a human in a foreign planet, selling burgers where they are not usually eaten, letting kids go to space and China and using a magic wand without a permit. Here is something about the most famous.
McWibble Trial[edit | edit source]
The McWibble Trial was McDonald's against the Jupiterian government. They wanted 41,000,000 for McD's using a magic wand without a permit. McD's built an attorney robot and he bent reality, hypnotizing the government and winning the trial.
See also[edit | edit source]