The Ultimate Battle Of All Battles Did I Mention Battles?

Written by Dan the Hedgehog and Kırby

Hi, gang, and welcome to Extreme Illogic Sports! My name is Kirby and I'll be your host for this sports show!

You call this sports? Sure this is a sport. So is Pac-Man. I'm Dan and I'll be your other host.

Ha ha, great commentary Dan! Anyway, if you haven't already figured out, this is basically a parody of that TV show American Gladiators, only it's much cooler.

Kirby, what do I have to tell you? Illogicopedia is not considered cool at all. It's considered dumb, nerdy, geeky, and everything else besides cool.

Whatever. Anyway, let's meet the players!

Meet the players

Roberto

Our first contestant. He's come for your servers.

Roberto, also known as Roberta, Oscar.uncyclomedia.org and the scum of Illogicopedia, has entered into this competition! So, Roberto, after being in retirement for months, why does this competition bring you out?

It honestly has to be the fun of being on Illogicopedia once again, Dan. Just don't tell the Illogicopedia admins I'm here.

Okay... Tell me, Roberto. This game involves kicking, punching, and even breaking the necks of each other, yet hacking is not allowed. Since that's what you do best, what moves are you going to use instead?

Dunno, I might just come up with a third name for myself and disguise myself as that person.

That's nice. Well, do you have anything to say to your fans?

What fans? Seriously! I don't have any! Oh, and if you insult my beard again, I HACK J00!!!

BENSON

Yeah, that was kind of weird, but not as weird as our next contestant, BENSON! The scum of Uncyclopedia is going up against the scum of Illogicopedia! Are you up to it, BENSON?

DU|-| I'M UP 70 I7! W|-|0 D0 Y0U 7|-|INK I 4M, Y0UR M0M?

Well... whatever. What's your tactic for beating Roberto?

I WI11 PWN |-|IM 4ND 7|-|3N I WI11 PWN J00!

That's nice. One more question: Will you stop talking in that moronic leetspeak?

N3\/3R! I 4M 7|-|3 41MIG|-|7Y BENSON 4ND Y0U 5|-|411 W0R5|-|IP M3!

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