Jimbo vs. Roberto
Jimbo stepped out into the evening. It was cool, but just warm enough to go without a cardigan, the kind of pleasant night you wouldn't ever see in a slasher movie, because it's always raining and thundering and lightning and such. Like I said, climactic conditions were nothing like that so Jimbo couldn't ever predict the events of that fateful evening, not even in his worst nightmares (which probably involve Illogicopedia as non-facts are scarier even than monsters to Jimbo).
As Jimbo passed a low wall, he felt something vibrate in his pants pocket. It was his iPhone alerting him of yet another revision to his Wikipedia page, which would happen on a regular basis and normally be worth ignoring. On this occasion, however, he decided to read the edit immediately. "It's such a nice night, I could sit here and add facts to Wikipedia until dawn," he mumbled to nobody in particular as he perched upon the wall. Unfortunately for our young(ish)[1] hero[2], he wouldn't even make it past 12am.
Jimbo's cheery expression began to subside as the exact nature of this revision dawned upon him.