Kentucky Fried Chicken

“Sweeeeeeet.”

~ Cartman

“Don't f*** with the Colonel!”

~ Neg Dupree

“THEY HAVE SEX WITH THE CHICKEN THEY ALL DO!”

~ Mr. Ross, Susan Ross's father

You heard it right: don't fuck with the fucking Colonel! He's got friends in high places, like Heaven, because they ate too much of his 'Special Recipe' chicken.

A message from Tennessee Fried Chicken: KFC is evil!!!!! They eat your pet birds!!!! Eat at TFC instead.

The last person to cross the Colonel's path got a tub of hot beans up the rectum, inserted via a special bean-inserter created by the Colonel himself. All we can say is that the beans tasted horrible afterwards:

“Meh, they didn't taste that different to me.”

~ KFC customer

KFC actually wasnt made by Colonol Sanders ( I think I spelt it wrong). It was made by Atopius in the year 3. It was originally called Baracko Fried Chicken (BFC), as Atopius lived in the Baracko Tribe in Scotland. It was later passed down to his great grandson, Abottomius. Abottomius would greatly increase the sales of BFC, and it would eventually grow to North America. Once it did, its HQ settled in Kentucky, which was a pretty stupid desicion. Abottoumius sadly died because he thought it was a good idea to jump off a cliff, as he thought the BFC would give him immunity. It eventually got passed to his son, Abottomius II.

Because of Abottomius' death, the sales of BFC started rapidly decreasing. It ended up settling as a small buissness in Kentucky. It stayed family owned for 2,000 years, until Colonel found some random gas station in the middle of nowhere. He decided to hijack and rename it to Kentucky Fried Chicken. He also killed the previous CEO, which was Abottomius LXXX. Now STUPID COLONEL TAKES PLACE FOR CREATING IT! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

See also

• Tastes nothing like chicken