Burger King

The Burger King being a twit in front of his security guards

Rory (guys i know yall probably spent a long time thinking of this nonsense but im so hungry right now i legitimately think im starving and the fact that there is a burger king article is NOT HELPING) knew it was his time. All those years he had been living off KFC, Nandos and maybe sometimes Taco Bell. But know he had to meet his master. His hands were cold and shaking. The queue seemed daunting to him - bank holidays were his no.1 [static] [the radio has changed channels] whopper whopper whopper whopper junior double triple whopper flame grilled taste with perfect toppers i rule this day lettuce mayo pickle tlrvsjltikgjsbi ltjg [static] [the radio has changed channels] a crowbar hit-and-run. Pope benedict's holy soul filled up with anger as he aimed at the Ford Focus from a turret and proceeded to fire. The car swerved into the centre of the line and blasted 16 customers down.

The Burger King staff came out of the restaurant. This was a bad idea. Both sides united to defeat the 'common enemy'. The rage-driven employees' caps came clean off their heads. The destructful mob invaded the burger king, fuelled by anger, panic and impatience. A crossbow flew into the crowd. Customers headed straight for the staff. Onion rings swooped around the restaurant in an attempt to blind them from the oncoming bullets showering the mob.

Total mayhem broke out. What was a holy war was now a riot against the BK waiters. Blood stained the floors and the counter. There was now 670 deaths - though no bodies were found after they were all deep-fried to the point of liquid. At a time when all seemed lost there was even worse to come. Jimmy Savile stormed in and knocked the survivors with his minigun.

He grinned, muttered 'whopper whopper whoperop eoph owrhpw hprow proh owprhowrp' and left.

See also

• KFC
• McDonald's