From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Lolita was a novel written by Vladmir Nobokov. The reason he wrote it was because he hated the name Lolita, and so he decided he would write something that would permanently associate the name with pedophilia in the mind of the public, and thus people would stop naming their daughters "Lolita". Evidently, he was successful.


Well... um... like.. how do I put this?.... bad things happen and stuff.

The Author's Name[edit]

Vlamir Nobokov's name has variously been mispronounced as Plaidbeer Knockitoff, Radsteer Hofflecoff, Vanadeer Bocklescoff, Mountaineer Ennerdoff, Pedobear Jackingoff and many other equally stupid things.


The noted heterophobe Oscar Wilde scathingly rebuked Lolita for depicting heterosexual relations, which he described as "perverted, deviant, bizarre and disgusting". Oscar Wilde produced many such writings, the most infamous being "Keirash Homo", in which he asserted that heterosexual men should be put in special prisons and forced to have sex with each other.

See Also[edit]

For those who can't handle the real truth, the spinners of fake truth at Wikipedia have a thoroughly boring article on Lolita.