From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
006. This guy ain't no scientist. He's a moron.

“Half of everything is luck James... the other half is fate”

~ 006 to 007 on luck and fate

Luck and Fate are both words made up to make people believe that they have purpose in life. It's not true you idiots. Life is pointless, deal with it.

Theory of Chance[edit]

A very important and highly technical pie graph. You won't understand it.

Scientists believed for a while that luck was just a sense. That was until they discovered that it was spelled differently. Stupid scientists... and they've got PhDs and shit.

The current belief is that luck and chance are equally split. This is junk! Obviously it varies, since some people are luckier than others, and some are fatier than others. This sort of mathematical calculation requires a precise and relative pie chart, so I drew one in Paint. Ya, you don't really need all that preparation malarky. I wasn't setting fire to myself. Geez...

Cheating Fate[edit]

It is possible to cheat fate. All you have to do is get out of bed on the wrong side every day. I don't care if this means you'll fall out the window, DO IT. Trust me, it works. I got out of bed on the wrong side this morning, fell out my window and I broke my arm. As a result, I don't have to go to college today to do an exam. See? I'm cheating fate.

Influencing Luck[edit]

There are many ways to increase your chances of being lucky. Some suggest entering competitions and doing the lottery every hour, but ya don't need all that. All you have to do is pray to God - he will grant you everything you desire. Think of it like a everlasting genie that can't get back into its lamp because somebody stuck a cork in the nozzle. Alternatively, you can steal what luck brings to other people, then people will start to believe you are lucky yourself. But don't tell 'em that you stole it all, otherwise this will have the reverse effect and they'll probably come round and kill you.