NFTs

NFTs (or, Non-Fungible Tokens) are a novel use of blockchain technology discovered in 2021. They are the great new way to collect artwork or invest for your future and not the 2021 version of the Dutch tulip bubble. Get your hands on one before they're all gone.

Oh yeah, and don't screenshot them, or the po-po's gonna arrest you, and your ass is grass.

Reasons Why NFTs Are Not The 2021 Version Of The Dutch Tulip Bubble

1. NFTs are new. NFTs were invented in 2017. That means they're the future. (It also means that they're not even a 2021 thing, so they can't be the 2021 version of anything.) Tulips are herbaceous bulbiferous geophytes. Herbaceous plants originated 400 million years ago (if you believe the evolutionists, that is). That means they're the past and are going to be replaced by the new.
2. NFTs are unique. When you make an NFT, you make it so someone else can't make that NFT again (I think, if it's on the same blockchain). However, when you make a tulip, someone else can use that tulip to make another tulip. Therefore, tulips are common (which Google told me is the opposite of unique).
2.5. NFTs are scarce. As a corollary to the above point, each NFT is scarce, having a scarcity of 1. That means it's scarcity-maxxed, which is good and makes it valuable. Inherently, even if it's just a bunch of random memes mashed together in a pretentious and sophmoric way.
3. NFTs are authenticated. When you buy a tulip, you have no way to know that it's real. But when you buy an NFT, it's automatically real because NFTs are real by definition. That's called authentication.
4. NFTs demonstrate that you have sophistocated taste. Most people think tulips are pretty in some way. If you have a tulip in your house, it just shows that you're normal. However, if you own an NFT, everyone will know you're not like other girls (or boys, if you're a boy).

Reasons Why A Lot Of People Don't Like NFTs

1. Verifying NFT transactions, as with cryptocurrency can produce a lot of butt gasses.
2. Due to file size, owning an NFT may involve having a certificate instead of a copy of the relevant file. This makes the file susceptible to paper moldering.
3. It is possible for someone to steal an NFT and attempt to sell it as an NFT.

NFTs are apparently copyrighted

NFTs are somehow in the Copyright zone, so that's why the owners tell them not to screenshot the NFT. But those people never listen, and do it anyway. Really, an NFT could be fanart, and the creator of the NFT would say it is copyrighted, when it could be in the Public Domain.

Yeah, NFTs have their own copyright system. (More like copyWRONG system. hahaha copywrong get it?)

Legal disclaimer

This section is Logical; it is meant to be so. Prepare to get bored!

Sensible Section

Please don't take this article as financial advice. Or Patrick Star trying to make a Krabby Patty NFT.