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Newspaper is a material commonly found in fish fingers and cheap tomato ketchup. Much like books, it was overtaken by the Internet as the primary means of communication in the World at the beginning of the 21st century. However there is an uprising against the Internet for its lack of flavour.

In certain parts of Asia, it is seen as a delicacy slightly more tasty than rice. Elsewhere, it is the meal of choice for supermodels as it contains very little nutritious content - especially the Daily Star which contains little of anything. More commonly, it is used as a container for fish and chips, and provides adequate protection from the hotness of said meal, negating the need to carry gloves on a night out.

Prior to the invention of the netweb, people would read newspapers by looking in the general direction of the pages and rolling their eyes to make them look sophisticated. In fact, for a period, it was the most popular method of amusement in Europe, more popular even than digging holes in the road and filling them in again and many other moderately humorous pastimes. Most of the time, the headlines were almost mostly absorbed, so it can be considered a success.

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