Newt Gingrich

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The famous Newt Gingrich Grill.

Newt Gingrich is the Republican Congressional Party Animal, who represents by keeping it real all up in here. He first attained media immortality in the 1990s, by shutting down the government with his pants down to the knees. He and his cribbage partner Larry Craig also concocted the Naughty Boy, Naughty Naughty Boy, Mr. President manifesto, which came with a surprise in the box; impeachment proceedings. In the next decade he secured his seat as the most Teflon serial marriage machine since Turing was outed at Waterloo.

In 1995 "teh Newt", as he called himself his Boolean period, invented Facebook, cracked the Pedro code[1], grilled the Warren Commission [2] and defeated Sodomite insurgents singlehandedly in his own mind. By the time he went to


See Also[edit]

  1. Googling "Pedro code" will project you into a higher-dimensional space, if you have the proper hardware. To bootstrap into this space-time-space, be sure to have the latest version of Adobo Flash installed.
  2. Served on wheat toast, with pickle