Paperclip

The paper clip is one of the most stubborn bastards I've ever laid eyes on.

A paper clip is a roundish metal object that refuses to hold your paper in one piece. Usually referred to as "that metallic whore", he lives in a Polish burning factory and speaks five different languages, including bullshit.

Genesis

The paper clip, as we now know it, was invented by Martin Luther after he nailed his faeces to the door. At the time he was smoking the magic cigarettes and was too high to even contemplate what he was doing. Though he later realised he was dancing with a giant ant, somewhere in Dover.

Modern use

Modern people, or meeple as they like to be called, enjoy fiddling with paper clips at board meetings. Even the bored is board, in bored meetings. So the board plays with it too and then regrets it, because it was too hot for him to handle. I've tried it myself. Afterwards I became as weak as tiny Tim's pet rat.

Time line...

1. Barry Scott takes a paper clip in 1992 and dips it in clit bang. Crowd astonished, but wet.
2. Albert Einstein calculates that a paper clip has the properties of $1/8-xO=57$.
3. The great illumination shows that a paper clip is highly flammable.
4. DR DICK rubs something against a paper clip and regrets it.

Trimby

Trimby the c owslave has now brought the paper clip company and is using it to his silvery advantage! The copyright is still being remastered! DO NOT UNDEROWN IT!!!

RELEASE THE DOGS!!

See also

• The Microsoft Word Paperclip