The Microsoft Word Paperclip

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I'm actually controlled by an evil genius.
The Microsoft Word Paperclip is an almighty being who lives inside the computer. Your computer, also mine and everyone else's. He appears when you open Microsoft Word and sits in the corner staring at you, occasionally making unhelpful suggestions and clanging loudly when you hit save.

You can yell at him and tap on the computer screen, but he won't do anything. You can talk to him all day long but he just stares at you and you cannot shake his hand or unbend him to pick a lock or fidget.

Also, you can click him with the mouse and wave him around and slam him against the sides of the computer screen. That'll teach that barsteward.

Disputed facts[edit]

  • He has eyelids.
  • He lives on a piece of paper.
  • If you forget to kick the toilet, the paperclip will inform you of this when you hit copy and paste something. He can be quite menacing at times.
  • 6.58 plus or minus 2.69
  • He will change words on purpose to irritate you
  • He jumps to conclusions
Every little helps

Non-disputed facts[edit]


  • Ahoy, Batman and sidekick. Elbows and pencils are tappable. They do more than stare at you.
  • And when you forget to kick the toilet, you will always remember to next time around.
  • Superman, thine name starts with a 1.

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