Proper Gander

The proper gander is the only species of goose that exists. No other species have yet been discovered, and they never will because this is the one and only species that will ever grace the Earth. There are other birds which resemble the proper gander, but these are, as previously noted, not proper gander; they are most likely ducks which coated themselves in paint to better disguise them from predators. What's more, the proper gander is the fittest, strongest, most intelligent of all birds, possessing an awesome quality that simply cannot be quantified by man, only the proper gander which is superior to all.