Water
“Water, I tried that stuff; it was disgusting”
Water is one of the numerous underworld leaders often reffered to as The Renegades of Funk or Potato-salad. It's scientific name is very hard to remember but I think it is Hydrogen Oxegen? Or is it Di-hydrogen-monoxide? IT'S DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!
Water's climb to fame[edit | edit source]
During the Irish hat revolution Water rose to fame as a political actionfigure who outlined strong plans for legalizing the sale and purchase of foot-cheese. Water was known for taking down opposing parties succesfully in the House of Commons through mimicking them in a squeaky voice and the frequent support of mafia hit-squads.
Controversy[edit | edit source]
However other politicians of the Water party became unsettled towards Water when Water included his friends in the band party, and even allowed Pete Doherty to rerecord over prominent Water party bassist Steve "Nylon" O's famous guitar speech manifesto thingie. This rift was widened further when the party discovered that their slice of the big foot-cheese in the sky was found to still have a toe attached. This sent shockwaves all around the cretacious period causing the very near ex-stink-tion of the Grandmas with fluffy hats.
The grandma's hit back by attempting a drive-by shooting but this was thwarted by two sets of traffic lights, the wrong medication (later discovered to be laxatives) and slow driving. As a result ten band Water party members were killed in the groinal area and one lucky contest winner was absorbed. This unacountably forced Water into hiding, taking the form of a cool refreshing allegedly mineral drink that was being gradually fazed out by the government in favour of propaganda juice (now 10% more censorship!)
Police are gonna get you!!![edit | edit source]
Water now scrounged a profitable living in the inhouse drive-by and by repeatedly berating carpet samples in the vast hairy deserts of André Breton under the false name of Walter. Water was finally driven out of the inner reaches of André Breton's belly button by the repeated targetting and suggestive pinching of The menacing Dennis gang and their damn fluffy hats. With severe fluffy hat burns Water collapsed near a rare breed of herbivorous hobo with a chesty cough.
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