Shambolic heuristics

Shambolic heuristics is an alternative to the scientific method, based on the Chaos Hypothesis of Sir Janos Wobbleworthy D. Sc. The method was developed after the British Crown called for a speedier way to estimate distances in knotical miles in aisles.

History

The British Crown (not the king or the queen - the crown itself) called up Sir Janos and offered to give him a document if he found a solution to the aforementioned problem. So he just sat around Gruntled-iseing his contraband for 8079,6857,4635,2413 minutes, and the solution just sort of found itself. Cool.

How to use Shambolic heuristics

Step 1: Buy my book.

Step 2: Make sure your clitoris is well-lubricated. Preferably with guava juice.

Step 3: Appreciate an internet meme.

Step 4:

BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES

Step 5: Deconstruct the failure of the vastly inferior Hypostatic Precambrianism to intervocalically gloss undersystemized free radicals as a Byzologistic meterism yognified to binariate ablaut schlingers.

Step 6: Sing in the rain.

Step 7: Consider contributing towards the ongoing project to list all 99 of Jay Z's problems.

Step 8: Wake up with an awful AWESOME hangover!

Step 9: Go back to sleep.

Postscript

SERIOUSLY BUY MY BOOK