Shovel Combat

Shovel Combat has gone from a simple way to settle conflict to a masterful art.

Shovel Combat is a highly-refined self defense technique. Many people regard shovel combat as an art, and some even believe it to be a sacred practice of defense. Originally created in the 1840's by Forty-Niners, shovel combat has gone from what was just a simple technique to defend one's self from rival diggers to a highly-popularized combat form used by several militaries in war.

History

Shovel Combat was created with the initial purpose of self defense. It was created sometime in the 1840's by a man in California who was prospecting for gold. Most gold diggers, at the time called Forty-Niners, possessed three main pieces of equipment: a pick-axe, a pan, and, of course, a shovel. Also, most gold diggers staked claims of land along rivers that may have had gold in them. In many cases the size and shape of these pieces of land were disputed between miners, and the two had to find a way to settle the dispute. To find a fair, entertaining way to "bury the hatchet" was needed, and thus shovel combat was born. It was created in a duel-like fashion, where the two competitors took shovels and began swinging them at each other. The winner would have successfully bludgeoned his competitor to a bloody death, after which he would immediately marry his opponent’s mother.

Shovel combat was initially used to settle disputes over land and gold, but soon evolved into much more. After seeing how much fun it was to bludgeon other miners to death, several Forty-Niners decided to make Shovel Combat a more recreational type sport to be played at group events. At first the game was not so widely accepted due to high death rates, but soon many realized that some deaths were necessary for life, and thus the game grew popularity. The duel-like event spread from the mining camps of gold diggers to the mining towns nearby, where business owners, parents, and even small children began to participate in the popular bloody massacre for the entertainment of others.

Becoming an Art

The Samurai adopted the idea of shovel combat into their Bushido code.

Soon, shovel combat became much more than a friendly game. Several hundreds of Samurai saw this as an opportunity to go beyond to beyond the Samurai code of Bushido and create a more effective form of combat. Some abounded the ways of the Samurai to go and practice the ways of the shovel combat. Others, who were more dedicated to the Bushido, adopted the defense form and made a hybrid of the code; one of which that contained the normal principles of respect and honor while using shovel combat as it's main form of defense.

After use of the Samurai, the techniques of shovel combat became more and more popular as well as more and more refined. In about 1850, Shovel combat was becoming known as "An art of Self Defense" by many. Like other forms of self defense (Tai Kwan Do, Karate), shovel combat soon became taught in studies across the United Stated to innocent children looking for fun. However, these studies were soon abounded because of several law suits filed against them by parents who were disgusted at the nature of the art after their child was killed in practice.

Combat Moves and Attacks

When shovel combat was first created, it was composed of a few simple positions and attacks that were used to eliminate the other opponent in the most cruel, bloody way possible. However, after becoming a highly-evolved form of defense, several positions were created by innovative fighters. There are nearly hundreds of positions and moves, but the most common are for disarming, striking, and immobilizing.

• The Swipe - The swipe is the most commonly used and easiest to use move in all of shovel combat. To properly use this move, the attacker takes the shovel and swings in a horizontal motion right at the opponents head. If used properly, the move could easily decapitate the opponent, causing a massive amount of blood to spew from the person’s torso. This will cause any audience to cheer, and hopefully you will gain some money from tips. The swipe can also be used to disarm your opposer of their shovel, where you can then remove their head or limbs in one swift stroke. The Swipe can also be used as a disarming move, where the attacker swings his shovel and hits the opponents shovel, resulting in the opponent losing grip of his weapon and lowering his chances at winning the game. The Swipe is used with the edge of shovel perpendicular to the object of striking so it will result in some sort of cut, unlike the Whack.
• The Whack - The Whack is nearly the same as the Swipe, except for the fact that the head of the shovel is flat to the object it is aiming for. THerefore a blow to the head with the Whack will not result in a cut, but rather fractured bones from blunt force trauma. The Whack is recommend more for disarming over the Swipe, for the reason that it has more surface area and a greater chance of hitting the opponents weapon.

A graphic demonstration of The Drop in proper form.

• The Drop - The Drop is a simple move that requires the mere force of gravity to do the majority of the work. To properly use the Drop, one must hold the shovel above their head and allow it to drop onto the enemy. If you drop it with the flat head horizontal, it smash the victims skull in and probably give them a severe concussion; if vertical, it will effectively slice the opponent in half. This move is used exclusively as a striking move. While effective, it does have some disadvantages. While lifting the shovel above your head, t leaves your abdomen exposed, and it becomes an easy target. This move is used mainly when the opponent has been disarmed, otherwise it may result in disaster.
• The Poke - The Poke is a well-known move, however, it is very rarely used. It was made popular in the early days of Shovel duels by players who were less educated in attack moves. To do the Poke, one most attempt to jab the opponent with the tip of the shovel. However, this move usually does not work because of two reasons: One, it cannot pierce the skin. Second, the enemy can easily avoid the move by stepping back. The Poke is well known because of how useless it is, and therefore no one uses it.
• The Block - The Block is move that is intended to be used as a defending move. When used, the person shove move their wepon to lock the opponents strike. This move is used for defense exclusively. It is the most commonly used defense move. There are other varients, but they are complicated and some are designed for specific attack moves. The Block is famous for it's ability to block nearly any attack if positioned correctly.

These five moves are the most common moves in al of Shovel Combat. Though basic, they are highly useful, except for the Poke. These moves are the base moves for the hundreds that evolved around them.

Combat Styles

A typical fight in the Classical form of shovel combat.

When the game was first created, no one knew it would develop into the game it was today. They intended it to solve dispute in mining camps. However, when it became popular, other uses were made for the Art of Shovel Combat. Not only was it used for settling conflicts, it became a widely-used military strategy as well as Murder technique.

Classical

The Classical Style is the original style and rules of the game. It is designed to be a face off between two competitors. This was the original form of shovel combat that eventually involved into other forms. Many call it a duel because this style of combat and duels are virtually the same thing, except for the fact that the two participants are using shovel as their weapons.

The event begins with the two fighters in their given area. Any shape can be used for the given area, a circle, triangle, or pentagon. The most popular shape, however, is that of a square. Once in the fight area, the two select their weapons from their personal collection of shovels. Once chosen, the two proceed to pound each other with their shovels until one of the opponent either dies or gives up. If the duelist chooses to give, they are forever known as a coward. However, if they die they are regarded as an honorable person.

Murder

Murder is another commonly used form of shovel combat. Many people, as opposed to using gun, knives, and other common weapons, have switched to using shovels to kill the people they please. Those who have been jailed for killing someone with a shovel claim that it is nearly ten times more fun than using any other weapon, except for a flame thrower. However, despite being fun, murdering with a shovel is just as illegal as any other form of murder. Many do it for the the thrill, but are often punished by death of a life sentence in jail for doing so.

Though illegal, many professional assassins have chosen the shovel as their primary weapon. Over using knives of silenced firearms, the assassins have found in effective to run up to the target and beat them until dead more satisfying and ensuring then shooting them.

A famous incident in which somebody used a shovel as murder was the assassination on President John F. Kennedy. Many believed it to be by gunshot, but really someone went up to him and whacked his head several times with a shovel, resulting in large portions of his flesh to disappear on his skull.

Organized

Organized shovel combat is a style of combat that involves having large groups of people form as teams to mercilessly beat other people. This form of combat is used mainly in militaries; however, it has been used in other large groups of people such as mobs and gangs. The first known use of the organized shovel combat was in the 1850's, when a roup of slaves rebelled against their masters using shovels as their weapons. They may a valiant attempt, however, they were quickly defeated by the southern land owners.

Rise of Military Use

It became a part of military protocol to use your shovel in a fight.

Soon, after government officials realized the efficiency of using shovel combat, they began to make shovel combat the main style of training their soldiers received. The first country to start this was the United States of America, who armed their soldiers with nothing but the standard equipment, minus guns and knives, and and an extra shovel. The soldiers, who were now easy, defenseless targets, were slaughtered in the battlefield. However, despite mass amounts of soldiers dying, the army still kept the idea of using shovel combat because they saw how much their soldiers enjoyed beating the enemies to death. Other countries, namely Britain and France, also noticed that the use of shovel combat improved soldier morale, and therefore adopted the tactic as well.

These three were the tip of the spear in adopting the ideas of shovel combat into their miltaries. After the three did so, nearly every country in Europe and Asia followed suit. With China, India, and Spain going immediately after. Whenever war took place, it was now a fair fight because most soldiers were armed only with shovels. This became the most well known form of Organized Shovel Combat in all of the world.

However, despite almost all of the countries in North America, Europe, and Asia using shovel combat, many rebelling groups in Africa still kept their guns, giving them a large advantage over any opposing countries. Soon, the rebelling factions took over Africa and started to attempt taking over the world. Countries, knowing that the world was at stake, went back to using guns and eliminated the rebel factions. Shovel combat was never again used by any military.

Shovel Combat Today

Today, shovel combat still remains a popular form a self defense. It has become more used in families across the nations of the United States, Britain, and Canada. Some families go to practice sessions and practice with fake shovels to prevent harm. Children still play this game during block parties, and sometimes adults join in on the endless slaughters. Some Samurai still use the art of shovel combat, but it is becoming less popular. The military has left the idea abandoned, to the disappointment of many soldiers.

It has been outlawed in every country except for Ireland, when everyone else deemed that beating people with shovels until dead to harsh and inhumane, Ireland continued using it in war until 2007. Germany was the first country to deem shovel combat to harsh because Germany is made up of pansies who think shotguns and shovels are to inhumane.

See Also

• Shovel
• War
• Fighting

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