Silly Putty

Silly Putty (not to be confused with Playdoh) is a non-Newtonian solid that is primarily composed of stale bagels, crushed dreams, and duct tape. It was used during The Cold War as an adhesive to shave without contracting rabies. This enabled the world to stop focusing on the fights between Democracy and Communism, and to finally start debating on important things, like what color The Dress is, or whether the Illuminati exists or not.

History

Origin

Silly Putty was a failed experiment gone awry, which is to say, it was exactly what the developer wanted to make. His brother was the founder of the Kinder Surprise Egg, which made him jealous of his brother's fame. He wanted to take the properties of gum, and make it inedible and harder, so he took a pot, and added soap, glycerin, and his first-born child, and mixed it all into a fine powder. He thought that he had messed up, and was about to throw it away, until he remembered the most vital step: to add water. He poured a gallon of liquid meth into the pot and created a single stick of chewing gum. The chewing gum was put into a toaster and gathered his ingredients for the next step: 5 pubic hairs, molten aluminum, and a Klondike Bar. He poured all of this directly into the toaster, turned on the toaster, and crawled into a hole to hibernate for the winter. He emerged as a Naga, hopped back to the toaster, and was not surprised to find that the toaster had exploded. He was, however, curious that a plastic egg-like object was sitting on the counter. He angrily smashed it, contracted Ebola, and died. The egg was later found by his younger brother, who was obsessed with Crayons, and started to manufacture the egg and its contents to be sold to the public as "Silly Putty".

Crayola and Silly Putty

Being brothers with the owner of Crayola and manufacturer of silly putty, the founder of Kinder decided to sue Crayola for infringing Kinder's copyright of the egg. Crayola responded with "We are the slim reds, you are the fat whites." After being asked if he would like some ice with that burn, or he was too salty for it, the founder of Kinder dropped the lawsuit and went quiet for a decade. In the meantime, Crayola commercialized Silly Putty via the Mafia and FOX News, and even gained 3 senators in the U.S. Senate. Crayola even gained a strong position in the world of Physics.

Physics

Silly Putty is the #2 most used material when conducting Physics experiments, where #1 is Morgan Freeman. Sort of like the #2 pencil is Niagra Falls, while the #1 pencil is currently in Purgatory.