Sphincter Twitch

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Sufferers of CTSS (Chronic Twitching Sphincter Syndrome) always look like their sphincter is twitching.

You know how some people have knee-jerk reactions to things? Like, they react before they can think? A lot of times, this is followed by an "open mouth, insert foot" thing, whereby they'll say something stupid, which divulges their actual agenda. These sorts of things take place to varying degrees, and in different ways, depending on what part of the world you're in.

For instance, in many parts of Northeastern United States, a certain level of political correctness is generally recognized. Issues like gay married couples can enter social situations, potential minefields for those with unpopular opinions. These are perfect situations for a knee-jerk reaction. Most with secret agendas will mask themselves by reciting what they think is safe in gay infested conversations, and may succeed to a greater or lesser extent.

When a conversant successfully prevents a moronic thought from passing their lips, however, they experience an involuntary spasm called a sphincter twitch. Those skilled in reading body language and facial microexpressions can often pick up on a sphincter twitch by way of secondary involuntary movements.

That's why I call some people sphincter twitches. They're the kind of deceptive, smarmy nipple-brained asshats that drive me frigging crazy. The really dumb ones insist that what I plainly see is not accurate at all, and waste my time with stupid arguments against the fact they're an asshole.

Sometimes, knowledge is less about power and more about aggravation.