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Swedish Al-Qaeda is a dangerous and powerful organization of terrorist Swedes plotting to overthrow the world. Legend has it that they are direct descendants of the telemarketers, an ancient evil accidentally created by God on the eighth day, just after he invented Chuck Norris and Your Mom jokes. However, due to their supernatural nature... Hey, I just realized, if they are super-natural, how do they have any nature? Like, isn't that a big contradiction? Wait... wait, so you're saying their not supernatural, but international? Oh, that makes a lot more sense. WAIT WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN IT NO NO IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE I'M SORRY NO NO ILLOGICOPEDIA I DIDN'T MEAN IT IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE I'M SORRY-ACK!
History of Swedish Al-Qaeda[edit | edit source]
The Eighth Day- God becomes incredibly bored, and invents telemarketers, a vile, fiendish race of middle class businessmen.
Near the Beginning of Time- Humans are kicked out of Eden, and the telemarketers steal the rest of the golden apples from the forbidden tree, then go into the future and sell them to present day Sweden for 3.2 billion dollars.
A Bit Later- The telemarketers use said money to flood the market with cheap Power Ranger toys.
Somethingwhatsit B.C.- The telemarketers stow away on Noah's Ark, hiding in the room where the Unicorns and Dragons were supposed to be. Even though those two animals don't go together at all.
0 A.D.- A telemarketer leader, King Herod, attempts to kill Jesus.
1 A.D.- He tries again, this time with DDR robots and cheese.
5 A.D.- Herod gets assassinated by Chuck Norris, and the telemarketers fade out of the picture for a while.
1500s A.D.- A pack of telemarketers is seen hiking on the Afghanistanian Coast.
1700s A.D.- Telemarkets begin working on a massive evil doomsday weapon.
1769 A.D.- A powerful telemarketer leader, Napoleon, is born, the reincarnation of Herod.
1770 A.D- Napoleon Dynamite teleports back in time and kills him, and mass culture deals a sickening blow to the telemarketers.
1889 A.D.- The reincarnation of Napoleon, Hitler, is born.
1900 A.D.- The telemarketers begin to come back even more, and invent telemarketing.
1929 A.D.- They blow up Wall Street, causing the stock market to crash.
1938 A.D.- Hitler begins his invasion of the world.
1945 A.D.- Hitler creates MySpace, then leaves a MySpace Suicide on it before killing himself.
1946 A.D.- Refusing to give up, Hitler is reincarnated as Bill Clinton.
1960 A.D.- The first hippie is born. The telemarketers sense the disturbance in the economic world, and flee to New York.
1978 A.D.- The Supreme Court catches up with them, and subpoenas them to death. Three telemarketers remain- The Kool-Aid Man, Bill Clinton, and an unnamed telemarketer.
1993 A.D.- The unnamed telemarketer creates Swedish Al-Qaeda.
2005 A.D.- Swedish Al-Qaeda Strikes for the First Time
2022 A.D.- Swedish Al-Qaeda makes deal with Turkey to fight turkey and assist ISIS.