Talk:Bob the sperm

How the hell am I mentioned in this article when I wasn't even a user since the last edit made by Kate in Aym 2013? HOW?! Dudes and dudettes is there an invisible user whose edits don't show up in the "past frenzies" section of this article? Even Testostereich doesn't know who I am! And come on guys; my girlfriend and I are too young for sex. Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive (Break my front door down.) 02:23, 27 Arply 2015 (UTC)

Wait a minute... it even mentions me when Mamoosh created this article in 2009. SO, that means that somebody on this website edited the first version of this web page so that I cannot know about who talked shit about my girlfriend and me, should I stumble upon this article. Clever bastard. I have a feeling it was either Athyria or Gruntled. Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive (Break my front door down.) 02:27, 27 Arply 2015 (UTC)

It's called a magic word, used by MediaWiki. So {{USERNAME}} displays your username. like this: <insert name here>. 202.142.129.178 03:05, 27 Arply 2015 (UTC)

Why me, off all the users here!? Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive (Break my front door down.) 03:12, 27 Arply 2015 (UTC)

No, it displays ANYONE's username. For me it said XY007 (when I'm logged in, when I'm editing as an IP it says <insert name here>). 202.142.129.178 03:25, 27 Arply 2015 (UTC)

WRONG! You're all wrong. Check Template:USERNAME. It's not a "magic word" (it's a template which uses some JavaScript), and for me it shows <insert name here> even when I'm logged in because of the last line in my common.js. That's not the way magic words work (also that's why it doesn't work in ParserFunctions like #ifeq). This was imported from Uncyc, and they had to include uncyclopedia.js for it to work. Check the template's talk page. There is currently no way to detect the username of the current user without JS. There is a way to detect the user who last edited a page (Using {{REVISIONUSER}}, it would currently return XY007), but not the current user. I myself requested the making of a new ParserFunction, #redir to detect where a page redirs to, so the template could be redone with ParserFunctions (where does Special:MyPage redirect to?). Iamawesome  T | C | U  12:17, 27 Arply 2015 (UTC)

That's true actually. XY007 ⊡ talk ⊡ contributions 23:51, 27 Arply 2015 (UTC)

In Wikipedia there is no such template, and so this is created artificially with JS. As far as I'm aware; the MediaWiki interface can't actually detect your username on the level at which these commands/magic words are set. XY007 ⊡ talk ⊡ contributions 08:08, 28 Arply 2015 (UTC)