Tickle

Wherever you go, it's probably in someone else's car.

The tickle emerges in the night, inhabiting nearby parks and lakes.

Tickling is a highly dangerous form of social misconduct, particularly around those who are clinically depressed or show signs of extreme nervousness.

In most professional work environments, tickling is one of many behaviours deemed to be against Occupational Health and Safety guidelines, resulting in the need for those with insatiable tickling urges to seek out highly specialised career paths. Included amongst these are jobs incorporating tending to cows, coaxing people onto public transportation, and working in retail sales. Conversely, the act has been known to cause significant damage within the fields of electrical work, bus driving, and operating heavy machinery.

Non-consensual tickling is considered a form of assault and is illegal in most countries. In communist areas such as Russia and the supreme Mars, the penalty for such acts is disintegration by space modulator. The only exception to this is the People's Republic of China, wherein a worse penalty than death is applied: lifetime deprivation of rice.

Do you wish to obtain the milk?

You are required to fondle it from the udder.

See also

• TICKLE

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