Toby Keith

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“TOBY KEITH IS A TRUE AMERICAN.”

~ 74.32.16.149 on Wikipedia

“I'm the big dog daddy!!”

~ Toby Keith on Toby Keith

Toby Keith is said to have been born under a large rock, amongst a family of quakers and long-tailed lizards. What's most interesting about Toby Keith is how if you smile at him from across an ocean, he will smile right back, as if he and you have some kind of brotherly connection. Not many people know of Toby Keith's existance; I, however, have been on many fishing trips with him and know for a fact that he is a real boy.

Even though he does have a vagina.