Top 100 Most Popular Baby Names of 2015

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From Illogicopedia's Top Ten collection. Where opinion is fact.

Have you ever looked to a popular baby name database for ideas on what to name your child? No? That's good. You probably shouldn't. We're currently reaching the peak of the bogan baby boom in which parents think naming their child 'Abcde' (pronounced 'Absidy') is a good idea. If you've opened this link on purpose, congratulations! You've come to the wrong place. Here are a list of 100% bona-fide genuine names collected from our completely not-fabricated census. Hopefully your child will live with the legacy their name deserves, and maybe even consider investing in a legal name change or passing on the thought of having children of their own. Your child could gain so much from having one of these ~original~, culturally-inclusive ways to be addressed.

Note: In this list we have not differentiated between male and female names, as we have been informed that gender is a social construct from the social justice warriors who are standing outside our office with pitchforks and torches as we write this list.


  1. Satan
  2. Nirmala Pashindrana
  3. Vanilla Ice
  4. Lost Cat, Reward Offered
  5. Raspberry Torte
  6. Ke$ha
  7. Tiberius
  8. [dissatisfied facial expression]
  9. Mr. Tickle
  10. Sunscreen
  11. Apuhaïkaarâmbharâ
  12. Dewey Doowee
  13. Malaria
  14. Herbie Homemaker
  15. Vladimir Putin
  16. Arshall Mart
  17. Defekt feat. Yuki
  18. Mavis Maraschino
  19. Sally (the great detective)
  20. (Bollywood is her name)
  21. (Na na na na na na na)
  22. Marzipan
  23. Cher Share
  24. Hamtaro
  25. DJ Brisk
  26. Jessie
  27. James
  28. Meowth
  29. Your mum
  30. Ian Paisley
  31. Bibbity Bop Badop
  32. sresuorTfOrelddiP
  33. Bold Text
  34. Spiridon Forlife
  35. Two-one-five Five-three-zero
  36. Twoseven Twothree
  37. Igor Azalea
  38. Llama O'Doom
  39. Yrrb
  40. Mmmmmmmmm
  41. Kanye Southwest Airlines
  42. Babyname.jpg
  43. Deltnurg
  44. Exwai Ohohseven
  45. Wudduh Frik
  46. Flabebe, Slayer of Endless Demons and Dragons
  47. Vanity
  48. Soggy Dave
  49. Wet Pete
  50. Moist Joe
  51. Mason
  52. Jar
  53. Legman
  54. The Dude With Legs
  55. Captain Legs
  56. Uncle
  57. Trishna's Ghost
  58. Cheese and Extra Olive
  59. Rat Bastard
  60. Carrot Top
  61. Door Ajar
  62. Sparky
  63. Bulleted List
  64. Irksome
  65. Planet Piss
  66. Retread
  67. Spillway
  68. 9MM Pistol
  69. Knock Knock
  70. Free Labor
  71. Insecticide
  72. Genitalia
  73. Raine Ondowne
  74. Squid Kid
  75. Kid Who Also Happens To Be a Squid
  76. Constance Constance Constance
  77. Fussy à la Pasta
  78. Breadtoast
  79. Stevonnie
  80. Gay Space Rocks
  81. Maiden #52
  82. Fab Abyo
  83. The Bride of Muji
  84. Fat Abyo
  85. Baby New Year
  86. Jajangmyeon
  87. Jazz Hands
  88. Chazz Dan
  89. Doppler Shift
  90. Flipnipnipnipnipnipnipnip
  91. In Chlong
  92. Tiny Wet Disaster
  93. Twangy Furr
  94. Dibbity Bibbity Bop
  95. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
  96. Thwtyhryhfhy Yyyrbmmnmnddx
  97. Absolute Chaos
  98. FLABEBE!
  99. Chuckity Norwalrus
  100. Bob