User:Gruntled/Zimizmizt Mythos

A call to farms

Well, not farms, precisely, but farming as in for ideas. I seek here to build a mythos similar in ways to those of religions and cultures, but sillier. Or weirder. Or absurdier. So, I will objectively review all submissions, and if you're lucky, you can be in on the ground floor of this thing I preach. Like, you can be a prophet, or something.

I've been wanting to do this for years, since I was ordained as an Apathetic Agnostic. I established some feeble meanderings here and here, but alas, it is but cobbled half-thoughts and whispered connections. Too weak to be a system. What I seek is a continuity to a creation myth story that you'd never read to a person tripping on hallucinogens.

Like all religions, there will be many books and versions of the same stories. That right there increases the chances that you, dear reader, may see your portion of the mythos accepted as dogma.

So, let's see what kind of treatment we can give this seething ichor of the inchoate. A grand phrase, "seething ichor of the inchoate", nes par? 04:59, 30 Arply 2015 (UTC)

In the beginning: an example

In the beginning, there was the dog, and that dog was called Frunobulax. And she looked out upon the Void, and it was quiet. Very, very quiet. And lo, did Frunobulax, or Laxxie, consider that, compared to the neighborhood of a small city where she lived, it was very, very quiet indeed. And Laxxie did take pause to enjoy the quiet, giving her no reason to bark and lose her mind, acting like those people had a lot of nerve walking in front her house and how would you like me to eat you, starting with your legs?

And after a while, she got bored, and so caused a symmetry break by furiously chewing on her ass. This occured approximately 13.8 million million years ago, as we reckon time.

The Story of The First Prophet XY007

And so I (XY007) looked upon the garden, I was sitting there. When soon an eternal force came crashing down. It was the force of Zim, a solid, liquid, gas and plasma. It was light and dark. It was the beginning and the end. It was.... Zim. And we must choose the right path to unite us with the holy Zim. Therefore we follow the ways of the great Reverend Zim_ulator till the very end.

The Ways of Zim

The ways of Zim must clearly be respected by every follower of the teachings of Reverend Zim_ulator. The ways are:

• 1. Be faithful, be full of sjink.
• 2. Be illogical, be humorous.
• 3. Never give up until it's over.
• 4. Do not waste time, but be patient.
• 5. Do good deeds out of kindness.
• 6. Choose Zim to unite us with heaven.

Eeble, sonk, sjink and fjink

These were the many properties of the great Zim dogma, until the weasels came and ripped his heart out.

Song

• Iran, Iran, Iran
• Iran, Iran, Iran
• Weasels, ferrets, badgers and stoats
• Zim zim zim zim zim

• What is a weasel to you? Snarf! Blegh...
• Wekweeti gameeti, liel iel iel...
• That's boring discord, ka-sjink ka-sjink ka-sjink
• Click here for a free holiday!

• Iran, Iran, Iran
• Iraq, Iraq, Iraq
• No this isn't what it sounds like
• Iran, Iran, Iran

Ackh!

Zim riddles, and stories

• Life is a dream, it's true
• I am a dead cockroach. Snarf. Bleeeeh....
• Eeble, sonk, sjink and fjink
• Ning ning da-ding ka-fing!
• Weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel
• Bring me the weasel, not the ferret
• Zim zim zim zim zim zim zim, zim zim ka-zim!
• At yesterday's crash of the R-Bus A380 in the Alps frongzösischen now ISIS has known. The organization had introduced a Salafist Salatfister as co-pilot. This could easily overwhelm the actual pilots by karate chop and toss out by judo grip from the cockpit. Because where previously only a curtain separated the passengers of the Sacred, so curious children can even look over the shoulder of the pilot, is since 9/11 a lockable from inside security door, which was recently retrofitted in this machine during a routine repair. For this reason, the locked-pilot tried in vain to enter the door to enter the cockpit again. The clang of steel door is heard on the tape recorder and the voice is reminiscent of the recent act of destruction of ISIS in a museum.

• Women have to walk around in disguise in Islam After 9/11, the chicane controls in respect of passengers have been extended considerably, ostensibly to prevent any cavemen carpet knife on board smuggle. In reality, it is but a matter of making the passengers at the screening with gamma rays in the so-called "body scanners" barren to implement the eugenics of the Club of Rome. But that emanates from your own elevated aircrew terrorist threat, no one has taken into account. Even Angela Merkel must realize that the entire security concept Sucks Balls. One can no longer trust anyone these days just do not even Angela Merkel. In her part in Lojban, partly in Folkspraak written, buttered and getoasterten Confessor letter the former Boku Haram terrorists that they had let the machine flying in the rock massif to destroy the mountain. The mountain should be easy hinräuchern half an hour from lack of oxygen in front of him, and then collapse in a massive explosion almost in free fall after the impact of the machine. This was to provoke as brought about the attack on the Gleiwitz radio station of the NATO defense case and a new world war. Pierre Vogel had to take to his head and has been considered for a moment, one of his wives a Boku Halal T-Shirt sew leave. Then he stood in front of the camera and defended the actions of the ISIS in a hastily cut YouTube video in the choice of words naturally cautious in tone, so it can not piss on the carts of the prosecutor.
• Hey! I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!