Vaseline pirates
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Vaseline pirates wear eyepatches, spit, say arr, have spitty lisps, use Vaseline, and spread amblyopia and lisps.
Vaseline Pirates in Antiquity[edit | edit source]
Thought to be discovered by early Pastafarians, Vaseline was originally used as a food condiment by Vaseline pirates.
Chasing pirates of your convience-size tube[edit | edit source]
While Vaseline pirates are primarily the lisping club kid, on the go. These often docile pirates with limited social interaction can be lost and found spitting, lisping, vacillating, leaning, listening to your mother wrapping Christmas presents, and preventing diaper rash in baby Vaseline pirates. It is advised that when you do find these calm, serene, shy, swashbuckling pirates, do not tap on their glasses. They won't make you walk the plank if you do, but they will spit on your face due to their lisps, and become sassier the more you try to wipe Vaseline off.
Common myth-conceptions[edit | edit source]
Contrary to popular belief, Vaseline pirates can also use Vaseline for:
- pwn the n00bz while playing the Wii.
- home mortgage refinancing
- dipping chicken nuggets
- block all bitch ass-nesses
- warding off white people
- buffing your thcallywag
- spreading amblyopia