Windschutzscheibenwischerreparaturwerkstattdirektor

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In a word, (well, more than a word, really) Windschutzscheibenwischerreparaturwerkstattdirektor is a word few sane people would say on a full stomach. It's German for a manager of a windshield wiper repair shop, a useful trade in exactly no universes. It is my second favorite Teutonic word behind Geheimeschmutz (hidden smut, among other things).

Herr Dr. Pastöse Konfrontiert Überdecken[1] von Ulm is the first legally licensed Windschutzscheibenwischerreparaturwerkstattdirektor in the world, having invented both the windshield wiper and windshield wiper repair in one swell foop on March 11, 1795. Remarkably, the device was developed and manufactured 12 years before the first internal combustion engine-driven automobile was patented in 1807 by François Isaac de Rivaz. Such was Überdecken's business acumen and foresight, that he envisioned a massive automobile market upon which he and his descendants could feast, in the fashion of a remora.

When he first conceived of the product and it's attendant service business, Überdecken developed a decent business plan and spent the next 8 years supplementing his savings by being a gigolo. The handsome, athletic entrepreneur juggled multiple women, servicing as many as 5 during the same month. He wrote prolifically of his prowess and self-described "animal magnetism"[2], calling himself "the golden bozo abominator" and describing details of of his time spent with the ladies.

Another innovation of Überdecken's was the first prank public proclamation, forerunner to the prank phone call. In 1772 in Goslar, Germany, a crier was employed to remind the local populace not to urinate or defecate in the river the day before water was drawn for brewing beer. On August 30 the public servant was given a counterfeit announcement to read, urging men to stop wearing pants and women to wear wigs made of dog boogers.


  1. Pasty faced smell concealer in English.
  2. He gave annual demonstrations for friends and family, sticking squirrels to his head, ocelots to his torso, pigeons to his arms and capybaras to his legs.