Illogicopedia Pipeline

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“He refused to roll over, no matter how tiring, even when the counter exceeded its maximum value - even at the cost of nasty clipping!”

~ Francis E. Dec on The Penguin


The Illogicopedia Pipeline is a very interesting, not to mention peculiar, contraption. Long has it been used to provide the Illogicopedia community with fish, though much of it has unfortunately been eaten by the salmon moose in recent times.

The origin of the pipeline is one throuded in mystery. Rumor has it that it all began one day, when a penguin - tired of fishing by hand, and of the fierce competition with the moose - called upon the services of a company known as IMD, or Illogical Micro Devices. The company, most known for their Illogithlon and Illogipteron CPUs, were tasked with constructing a pipeline like no other, deeper and more powerful by an order of magnitude than those that the evil Illogitel were using in their Illogicum 4 CPUs.

Then, came The Incident. Completely unexpected, it shook the entire community; not much is known about the circumstances surrounding it, but in the aftermath, little was left the way it used to be. A most gruesome event, it led to the unfortunate demise of an innocent Grue, and the breaking of many lightbulbs. Out of nowhere, came forth a fierce stream of lemon, of fish, and of carpets with little bits of cheese on them. Screaming, all the inhabitants of Illogicopedia fled the horrific, moldy cheese that fell from the malevolent swarm of carpets, haunting them during the ruthless carpet-bombing attack.

Save one; a penguin, brave and resilient, refused to leave the still unfinished pipeline. In frustration, the malevolent, malodorous attackers shouted: "PIPE DOWN!". And so, the penguin did. Even to this day, he remains silent. Ever working, ever silently gibbering, he continues to watch over the pipeline. Tirelessly, even though the friction of tireless wheels sometimes slow him down.

Though much damage was caused, The Incident was not wholly a disaster; plenty of fish - of which much coincidentally happened to be salmon - and plenty of lemon somehow ended up getting stuck in the pipeline. Though originally intended for digital information, this worked surprisingly well, and the community now had a newfound and convenient way of reaching all the fishy food they would ever need.

Or so, it would have been, were it not for the fact that the salmon moose soon noticed the smell. Attracted by their favorite food, they horded around the pipeline, blocking most access to it, and began gobbling down. Though there is still plenty of fish left in the pipeline, opportunities to get more than a tiny snack seldom present themselves.