Bogeyman

The Bogeyman is a very scary creature and by scary we mean frightening, creepy, chilling, terrifying, daunting, intimidating and perhaps even worrisome.

The Bogeyman is found on every continent in the world save Antartica and is classed under "Least Concern" in terms of conservation.

The Bogeyman is also considered an invasive species in many parts of the world and has a very long history of conflict with humans - they are especially prone to nesting under people's beds and inside closets, making them a common household pest.

History

Origins

The Bogeyman is believed to have evolved from the Wild Goblin at some point in the primordial past and was originally much larger than they are today, the original Bogeyman was also said to be clean-shaven and well-mannered: it was not until the coming of prehistory that the Bogeyman would start to develop the traits it is now associated with (such as poor personal hygiene and excessive body hair).

Prehistory

In prehistory the Bogeyman coexisted peacefully with cavemen and neanderthals due to the fact they were all hairy unintelligent cretins who liked to hit one another with sticks.

This coexistence would be shattered when the famous caveman scientist Ugh The Unshaven invented the wheel, unable to coexist with a creature that could understand the meaning of a circle the Bogeyman began to invade the caves of early humans and make a nuisance of themselves.

Thus the great conflict between man and Bogeyman would begin - ironically the Bogeyman were still friendly with neanderthals right up to the eventual extinction of that species (though a small pocket of neanerthals survived and continue to flourish in the more remote regions of the world).

Ancient Times

In Ancient Times the Bogeyman began to exhibit the behaviors seen in the modern Bogeyman such as nesting under beds and within closets, though primitive closets and beds often didn't provide the Bogeyman with much space and thus they often invaded other parts of the home such as the kitchen or basement.

In Ancient Greece the Bogeyman was prolific and became such a nuisance that the Olympian Gods themselves eventually introduced laws prohibiting the sale of the Bogeyman as pets (prior to this the Bogeyman was a popular pet but was often discarded by careless owners and became feral).

In Ancient Rome the Bogeyman was considered a pest and was hunted mercilessly until the fall of the Roman Empire - after which the Bogeyman began to resurface and spread across the world.

Medieval Europe was a rare example of a society that embraced the Bogeyman and they shared a unique bond with many humans until the dawn of science, when the demons of logic and reason drove away the Bogeyman and ended the union.

Modern Age

Ever since the dawn of science the Bogeyman has returned to its former status as a household pest and most societies have began to plan ways to deal with the Bogeyman, which is blamed for the destruction of property and crops as well as just being downright creepy.

Controversies

As stated above the Bogeyman has long been considered an invasive species and many people class them as vermin, there are a number of laws regarding the Bogeyman, both regional and international.

• It is illegal to keep the Bogeyman as a pet in almost all countries and the consequences can vary from heavy fines to exile depending on the regional courts, despite this the Bogeyman is heavily exploited in the black market.

• Most countries prohibit people from feeding the Bogeyman and repeat offenders risk spending time in prison if they partake in this dangerous activity.

• Attempts to smuggle the Bogeyman in other countries is illegal under international law and can result in a stern talking to by angry officials.

Related Species

• House Goblin - the modern version of the now extinct Wild Goblin

• Sock Gremlin - ever wonder why you can only ever find one sock? look no further..

• Fridge Gnome - how else does the light turn off.. or does it?