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Cat News Numbers, often called CNN, is a 73 hour news network run by CNN Inc. The network focuses on daily cat life in the UnUnited States of Meowica. The shows are spoken in Meowian, the cats' language, and subtitled in English, Backwordian and Dramatism. The channel is available in premium packages outside of the USM, so it needs the subtitles. CNN is most famous for the show called "The Milky Situation Closet". The network has 10 anchors, 258 for each show, CNN often says.
CNN started in 2077 and is still running today, in 2108.
CNN was started by a cat named Garfield, and some others joined. CNN started August 46, 2077. Weighing 2,556,116,684.025 pounds, Garfield did his show alone the first day for 73 straight hours with a chair 5,165,651,651,65X the size of normal and took up 2566/4 of the room. The next day he hired some other cats. They did a multitude of shows, 206 30 minute shows for the 73 hour schedule. Running for the whole day, the cats quickly got tired after 364 hours a day. Then they did a new concept in the world called re-runs, running 6/5 of the day. Fox News, actually came up with the concept and patented them, so they sued CNN for #$1,000,000,000,000 in 2081. In 2084, CNN got back on due to Garfield selling 5,556,354 pounds of his lasagna, 9/6 of his total stash for funds.
CNN added names to their shows, since people were ranting about how bad the shows were. So they each got a different set and name, costing 7/3 of the USM's total funds. They also added their slogan, Mewsdgdd Mewoff Mreete (Admew WoofMew), or in English, The Least Trusted Source of News (for Dogs). As being a bad source of news for dogs, CNN almost got sued #$1,000 by Odie, Garfield's dog brother. Odie lost due to McDonald's being CNN's attorney. In 2098, CNN got kicked off the air due to George Washington, president of some foreign country, suing CNN for copying off ZNN, his country's main news source. In 2099, they got back on the air.
In 2100, CNN got threatened by the dictator of the USM to stop speaking freely and speak in a one-sided view for him. People protested against him and won. CNN became political when the USM got rid of Commufasism, and adopted democracism in early 2108. So they wouldn't confuse people, they didn't get rid of the Un in their name. CNN discussed the first presidential election, Meow McCone vs. Mewoak Meowbamster. CNN still runs today and can be purchased in any country speaking English, Backwordian and Dramatism outside of the USM. It costs $4,000,000 a nanosecond. As the only TV channel in the USM, it is very popular in recent days.
Garfield: The founding anchor and main star in the sky at night.
Mewobob: Garfield's lasagna boy.
Meowariom: Garfield's attorney.
$Mewman: Garfield's workman.
Blahmeow: Garfield's blabbing assistant.
Nomorenames: That's it, that's 10, isn't it.
CNN has several shows. Here are the top 6.
Your Milk: A show hosted by Garfield, talking about milk prices and supplies, as having it for their cars as an alternate fuel. #$0.000001 per gallon.
Larmeow Kingmow Live: A talk show hosted by Blahmeow with a pen name.
The Milky Situation Closet: A closet.
House Call: A hobo going to people's houses on a show.
This Month At War: A war this month. Any war.
No Show: That's all. Just a blank screen.
Unless listed, the shows are hosted by no one.
CNN plans to expand to the whole Milky Way Galaxy with its programming in 2500. Then in 3000, the whole universe. Then to the spiritual worlds in 4000.
Parody and Spin-off
CNN inspired a spin-off news network called MSNBC (Most Suckish and Nerdy Broadcasting Corporation) run by a cat named Meill Gatemows and quickly got canceled. A parody of CNN was launched by the United States of Dogerica called CNNNN. It lasted 0.3545 episodes and got a power outage from a Game Boy being in the newsroom turned off. Then CNN sued and canceled the show.