Dancing Dog
Mike the Dancing K9 is a dog, well known throughout the community of Earth for his skills as a dancer. NO, WAIT, DON'T LEAVE! THERE'S MORE!
Life Story[edit | edit source]
What? You actually care? Holy crap!
Dancing Dog was born 4th February 1993, and was raised in a house, apparently.
His talent was noticed at the age of 3. (27.131879 dog years) when the child of the house, known as what the funk are you doing, you little brat, was waving the wire from the TV provocatively in front of the dog's head in an attempt to make him freak out. But something phenomenal happened - something that would change the course of history itself occurred. As opposed to freaking out, the dog got up on his back legs and grabbed the TV wire in his mouth, and then proceeded to bite the kid in an attempt to give him rabies.
At that point, the father of the house walked into the room and noticed three things: his dog was raving, his child was lying on the floor kicking and screaming with blood gushing from huge teeth-marks in his arm, and somebody had chewed the TV wire. He took a video of the dog dancing with the TV wire in its mouth, then put this on YouTube, recieved 408 million views and therefore being better than Chocolate Rain in every way, made lots and lots and lots of $$$, went to the YouTube office and claimed his $$$, then went back home to take his kid to the hospital.
Everything worked out well - the dog became a huge success, the father and mother moved into a mansion and the kid died, but was resurrected from the grave by God, or some guy who's very similar to God.
The Dancing Dog Phenomena[edit | edit source]
17th March 2009 - the day Dancing Dog became a phenomenon. Large groups of people who go to nightclubs with flashing luminous lights and are therefore immune to seizures watched the video on PooTube. Later that day, they went to a nightclub and performed this dance by taking their very own TV wires and putting them in their mouths, then jumping frantically. More people joined in by wrapping their teeth around the same TV wire and jumping frantically and soon everyone in the club joined in.
After this event took place, one of the people had an epileptic seizure due to flashing lights (there's always one) and then recovered and helped these ravers as they began to spread the word, and soon it was occurring in every nightclub throughout the world.
The dog has now won several awards including the Grand Order of Illogicopedia Award for Randomness and was presented a Gold-Plated TV wire by God himself for Excellence in the Outstanding Field of Amazing Success in Accidentally Becoming a Phenomenon.
It is now customary when going to a nightclub to bring your own TV wire to perform the Dancing Dog Dance
The Dancing Dog Dance Ban of 2010[edit | edit source]
In February 2010, the Government issued a ban on the Dancing Dog Dance due to the fact that many performed it with the wire plugged in to some form of electrical device and therefore causing electrical shock deaths - but this ban was later rectified when one of the government officials was caught performing the dog dance.
Social Life[edit | edit source]
Dancing Dog has a very active social life. He is recognized worldwide by dogs worldwide and lives in a golden-plated dog kennel. Whenever you see Dancing Dog, be sure to perform the Dog Dance to him as a sign of your recognition. Make sure to ignore the fact that his owner will most likely be staring at you with a confused look as you scramble incoherently making the impression that you are choking on a TV wire. Which you probably are, since I urinated on your TV and if my calculations are correct which they are, the urine is a conductor of electricity and should have hopefully electrocuted your mouth. And that's what you get for stealing a copyrighted dance. Yes, I know I told you to do the dance, but... umm... what do you mean, I'm responsible for your death?
How to do the Dog Dance[edit | edit source]
What?! You don't know how to do it? Oh, yeah, that's right, you're reading an article on it.
- Step 1: Find a TV wire, preferably non-insulated for maximum electricity conduction and therefore more funny looks from bystanders are guaranteed.
- Step 2: Put it in your mouth, and wrap your teeth around it.
- Step 3: Jump around hysterically. This step does not require any effort whatsoever (which is good for you, you lazy person) as the electrocution will most likely do this for you.
- Step 4: Get admitted to hospital with severe electrocution.
 |
This article is illogical enough to have made it onto the front page. View more featured articles • Vote for new featured articles |